Porn for Nerds

Attention nerds: Absolutely no physical contact allowed! (Note, however, that you may jerk off under the table so long as you do it discretely.)


Moe Moe Kyun Maid Cafe, Anime Festival Asia 2009


More about maid cafes ...

"The idea came from Japanese video games where the main characters worked as maids in a restaurant. That spun off in 2002 as a Tokyo cafe where hardcore gamers and anime fans, known as 'otaku,' or nerds, were doted upon by maids who called customers 'master' and would even blow on food to cool it off. Soon, the Akihabara shopping district in Tokyo, where computer and comic-book stores proliferate, was awash in maid cafes, maid hair salons, even maid ear-cleaning parlors. ~NY Times

Credit where credit is due: Happened across the video at Page Load Error when searching for something else entirely.

For the Birds

The blueprint ...


The final product ...


The move in...



Credit where credit is due: Found via YouTube, but the creative mind behind the birdhouse is that of a blogger by the name of Fuglekasse-Hilde, and the above pictures were found on her blog Kreative Krumspring. Which is in Norwegian. Which I don't speak at all, not even one word. Which is not a problem, thanks to the wonders of the Internet. Which provided a semi-intelligible translation of the related pages. Which suggested the birdhouse video was a winner in an ongoing contest sponsored by Norwegian Yellow Pages to prove that Norwegians are not boring. Which it would seem they are not.

Man Gives Mother-in-Law Cock

Ugandan newspaper The New Vision reported this gem on an apparent slow news day in Soroti, Uganda:

"SOROTI-A man last week mistook his mother-in-law for his wife. The man, only identified as Ojirot, was drinking with his wife, mother-in-law and other people. After having one too many, Ojirot began pulling his mother-in-law towards himself, asking why she was unresponsive. After several pleas from the woman, he realised he was pulling the wrong person. He paid her sh2,000 [about $1 US] and a cock as a way of appeasing her."

Asked by reporters whether or not this resolved the misunderstanding, Ojirot replied that although his mother-in-law initially acted as if she wasn't interested in his cock, once he offered her money, too, she happily took hold of his cock.

Stuff You Won't Read on CNN

I think the person in my neighboring apartment has H1N1. I heard her hacking up a storm earlier today right outside my apartment door. Shortly thereafter I emptied half a bottle of Lysol spay in the building hallway. And then washed my hands. Twice. You can't be too careful.

And, as if fears of contracting H1N1 aren't enough to turn us all into germaphobes, seems there's some sort of virus spreading across Ukraine, causing severe flu-like symptoms and viral pneumonia. It may be an especially virulent strain of H1N1, though several highly reputable conspiracy theorists have suggested it's a biological weapon manufactured by a pharmaceutical company (Baxter) and spread via the company's flu vaccine, which is being used in Ukraine.

Why would a pharmaceutical company try to spread some sort of pneumonic plague in their flu vaccine, you might wonder. Well, I have a conspiracy theory of my own about that. The more people who get sick, the more drugs that will be sold, right? And the more drugs that are sold, the more money pharma makes, right? So, obviously, the whole thing is nothing more than yet another ploy by big pharma to boost their profits.

When the story hits CNN, just remember you read it here first.

Dutch Treat

As reported by Radio Netherlands Worldwide:

"Queen Beatrix is on a state visit to Mexico this week. The Central American country has had to wait 45 years for a new visit from Dutch royalty, which is remarkable considering Mexico’s close economic ties with the Netherlands... "

On the Queen's agenda are hitting the tourist spots and a meeting with Mexican President Felipe Calderón, during which, it is anticipated, the Queen will offer a long-overdue, official apology for the irreparable damage Mexico’s reputation suffered after Dutch musicians released this video.




Side note to Radio Netherlands Worldwide: Mexico is not in Central America but rather North America. (Like, duh! Mexico is way more like the US and Canada than like Guatemala and Honduras.) But we'll try not to hold it against you since practically no one in Central or North America has a clue where the fuck the Netherlands is.

Pink October '09 (#2)

Stats suggest that about 1 in 8 American women will get breast cancer in their lifetimes. Media hype suggests that about 8 in 8 American women will get H1N1 influenza this winter. You can protect yourself against both diseases at the same time with this pink face mask.

(Medical supply company Crosstex is donating 5% of the proceeds from pink face masks to Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center for breast and reproductive cancer research. That's only something like one half of a cent per mask to split between research for boobs, uteri and ovaries, so good thing we have the flu scare to push up the sales of face masks.)


More Pink October posts here.

High School Musical #4

One of the 43 million copies of this album ever sold was in my collection during my formative high school years. I can still sing along with every single track.

Side 1
Bat Out of Hell
You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth
Heaven Can Wait
All Revved Up and No Place to Go

Side 2
Two Out of Three Ain't Bad
Paradise by the Dashboard Light
For Crying out Loud

Pink October '09 (#1)

As seen on TV! Except now even tackier, because it's pink soft rose! It's the limited-edition breast cancer awareness Snuggie blanket with sleeves!

$14.99 at fine retailers nationwide

(Also available online)

Not to be confused with the regular-old pink soft rose Snuggie, the limited-edition breast cancer awareness Snuggie comes in a box with a pink soft rose breast cancer ribbon on it so you can feel warm and snuggly outside and also inside, thinking you've done something to support the breast cancer cause.*


*The fine print: The Snuggie folks will make the same $50,000 donation to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation whether you buy zero, one, or one hundred pink soft rose Snuggies.

More Pink October posts here.

Sexy Hips

Thanks to Malaysian newspaper Sin Chew Daily's Child Safety Alert Campaign Booklet, intended to help youngsters ward off sexual predators, kids all over Malaysia know it's very rude to expose their hips in public.

What they're not too clear on, though, is the exact location of the anus.

Democrats Need Not Apply

I was oh so tempted by this eBay auction, but then I read the fine print. I'm not sure I measure up to Sarah Palin's subjective standards of suitability. Or at least I hope I don't.




The fine print:

"Governor Palin reserves the right to refuse dinner with a winning bidder if, in her sole discretion, the winning bidder is not a suitable bidder based on her subjective standards of suitability, professionalism, background and other factors."

UPDATE: The winning bid was $63,500.

Trashy Summer Reading

Today I cataloged all the fine literature I've read so far this summer using LibraryThing. I'm not sure what purpose this serves -- other than to show the world that I read mostly mindless trash -- but at the time it seemed way more important than doing all the things on my work to-do list.

I started off using Shelfari but, after fighting with it for 30 minutes just to enter one book, I decided that it sucks and bailed. Moving over to LibraryThing, it took less than 30 minutes to enter all eleven books I've read since June AND to create a little widget with the corresponding book covers for my blog side bar. (It's way down at the bottom of the sidebar if you'd like to admire it.)

As an added bonus LibraryThing automatically compiles fun stats for users. (Shelfari does not.) Like, now I know that my average rating for books I have read recently is 2.45 out of 5 stars. This is important info because it shows that, even though I read trash, I know it's trash.

But lest you think that this is some paid post to taut the virtues of LibraryThing (which it is not), I should point out the cons of LibraryThing, too. It only allows users to catalog 200 books before becoming paid members. (Shelfari is free regardless of the number of books.) That's why I decided to list only books I've read recently and not every book on my bookshelf. Well, that was one of the reasons anyway. The other is that, contrary to popular opinion, I do have a life.

Phat White Booty

Iowa's answer to Beyonce...

Goodwill Hunting #4

I probably won't top this Goodwill treasure for quite some time. I almost didn't even get my hands on it. See, someone else dug it out of a bin at Goodwill, but seemed indecisive about purchasing it. When I inquired she said she'd stick it right in my fat little fist if she decide not to buy it. So I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Eventually she said she had enough of these at home, handed it to me and left. Thanks nice fellow Goodwill hunter. You rock. I had nothing like this before now. Actually I imagine most people don't. After all, how often do people deposit this sort of family history at Goodwill??


Front cover


First page


Sample of subsequent pages



The album, which is in amazingly good condition (to the point where I was almost wondering if it was a fake) contains 64 ' cabinet cards,' (4 1/2 x 6 1/2 inches) like pictured above, plus 10 smaller 'carte de viste' (2 1/2 x 4 1/2 inches). Also stuck behind the pictures were one funeral notice (Mary McNee, d. Nov. 11, 1887) and 1 locket-size tin type picture.

Most of the photography studios stamped on the cards are located in New Hampshire, with a smattering from other places, including some as far away as Cheyenne and San Francisco. Only a handful of the pictures have people's names on the back; those that were legible led nowhere fast on the Internet.


"Harriet Evelyn Snow, Age 1 years"


Do you have no ancestors young Miss Harriet, or do they just not care?


Goodwill price: $3.99 (Rung at the register as a 'special book.')

Market price: $5-$10 per photo (?)

Value: To a relative, presumably priceless.

Now with Fewer Calories!

Great news for all those folks watching their waistlines! Tuna manufacturers have come out with a new kind of tuna that contains 25% fewer calories per serving.

Old tuna -- 80 calories per serving


New tuna -- 60 calories per serving


And, not only that, the new lower cal product costs the same per serving as the old tuna. Isn't that awesome?



Pictured: Nutrition facts from Trader Joe's Solid White Tuna (in water, no salt added), old 6 oz. (170 g) and new 5 oz. (142 g) cans. Shelf price: $1.49 each. (In case you're too lazy to do the math -- The smaller can resulted in a cost increase of 5 cents per ounce.)

De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bonum

That's Latin for, 'Let nothing be said of the dead but what is good.' And it's good that this kid isn't scared anymore, right?



But, seriously, did this kid really stay up nights worrying about guarding his butt hole from Michael Jackson? Hope not. Because the fact is that most kids who are molested are molested by family or acquaintances, not pop stars.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

Think legislating is boring? Well, not in Louisiana where they provide live entertainment on the floor of the legislature. And cake, too! Don't believe me? Well, video proof from the June 24th Louisiana Legislature session is going viral as I blog.

Yep, that's right, rapper Hurricane Chris, of YouTube fame, recently sang (or lip synced, mostly, it appears) his little ditty 'Halle Barry (She's Fine)' for legislators:

"She fine den a bitch, ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want her
Call her Halle Berry, Halle Berry ..."

Actually Hurricane performed a PC version with nary a mention of bitches or nigs. But, still, rather inappropriate. Yadda, yadda, no need to say more because posts to this effect are already all over the Internet. Google it if you care.

But here's what I haven't seen many mention yet. After Hurricane wraps up his performance (8:55 into the full-length video, which most people probably don't bother to see out to the end), some dude identified as Representative Thibaut takes the floor and asks Hurricane to consider writing a rap about his fellow Representative Norton (who happens to be Hurricane's godmother), adding:

"...Ms. Barbara Norton. Cuz, a, did you know? She IS fine."

Um, just what is Thibaut trying to say? That he thinks his colleague has a great ass and tits, and is deliciously thick in the hips?? Because that's Hurricane's definition of fine.

Credit where credit is due: Came across the video/story on We Saw That.

Beat It, CNN

To the person at CNN who decides which news is so important as to be worthy of being emailed to the masses as a 'Breaking News Alert,' did we really need FOUR separate emails about the untimely passing of Wacko Jacko?

5:20 PM email: "Pop singer Michael Jackson has suffered cardiac arrest, CNN affiliate KTLA reports."

6:26 PM email: "Pop singer Michael Jackson in coma after cardiac arrest, CNN reports."

6:37 PM email: "Pop singer Michael Jackson has died, according to multiple reports."

7:33 PM email: "Michael Jackson is dead, CNN confirms."

Generation Gap

When I told my 23-year old son, Sneaker Dude, that Farrah Fawcett died today he said, "Farrah who?"

"She was the blond from Charlie’s Angels," I explained.

Now he thinks Cameron Diaz is dead.


Credit where credit is due: Picture from Starcasm.net.

Crash and Burn

The Bolivian television station 'Red PAT' scooped major US and European stations last week when it was among the first news outlets in the world to broadcast chilling images taken on board doomed Air France flight 447 moments before it fell from the sky on June 1st.

The images show the plane breaking apart mid flight, confirming investigator's suspicions of what caused the Paris-bound plane to crash into the ocean after leaving Rio de Janeiro. The pictures were retrieved from a memory card of a mangled camera that was among hundreds of pieces of debris recovered from the ocean near where the plane went down.

[Bolivian TV news, pics of plane breaking apart start around 0:08.]


Actually, strike that. The pictures, which the station received via an anonymous email, were retrieved from an episode of the TV show Lost.

[Lost, pics of plane breaking apart start around 0:43.]


Oops. How do you say punk'd in Spanish?

Actually, strike that. How do you say, thou shalt always double check thy sources? Seriously, even I do that. And I just write a nonsense blog that hardly anyone reads, not relay the day's news.



Credit where credit is due: First saw on La Mala Palabra [link in Spanish]. Lost video clip and the story in English later seen at J.N. Paquet's EditoBlog.

Like a Virgin

Ladies, I would like to tell you about a truly remarkable product. These Chinese herbal pills available through eBay can "make your vagina as tight as girl's."

As if the fact that the pills "help the flabby vagina to tighten" were not enough to make them worth every penny, they also "wipe off the dead skin of vagina ... restore the young state, increase skin elasticity, reduce wrinkles, dilute stain, and whiten skin."

But wait, there's more. Five minutes after use, a pill "may excite women's ruptured A point, and touch off the level seven sexual orgasm which likes the volcanic eruption."

What are you waiting for? Order today!

The fine print: "Unmarried girl need not use it."

For the Love of STDs

If someone were going to give me a venereal disease, I think I'd want syphilis. Or maybe herpes. Not gonorrhea, though. It seems too mundane.

Giant Microbes

"Stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes —

only a million times actual size."

Rice is Rice, Right?

Today's lunch was take-out from a restaurant that serves "authentic Thai cuisine." Though the packaging made me wonder just how authentically Thai it really was.

Bragging Rights

As a general rule, being ranked #1 in teen dating violence isn't something to brag about. But when the metric is creativity rather than abusive behavior, getting top honors is kind of cool. So congrats to the kids at my local high school who put together this public service announcement that won the teen dating violence PSA contest recently sponsored by the Middlesex County, Massachusetts District Attorney's Office.

A Boston ad agency will help the students professionally edit the PSA and then it'll be sent to local TV stations for possible broadcast.