Thursday, October 05, 2006

My Job is Killing Me

I haven’t played tag since elementary school. And I was a really fast runner, so I almost never got tagged. But apparently I am no longer quite as spry as I was at age ten because I’ve just been tagged. Twice! First Julie at Flip This Body tagged me for her Tuesday meme about work and then The Thinker at Theory of Thought tagged me for a meme involving funeral music. What is the hidden message in these back-to-back taggings? Well, clearly my long-held suspicion has been confirmed: my job IS killing me.




The Work Meme

1. What is the best thing about your workplace?

The best thing about my workplace is not being there. It’s a cube farm. If you fart, everyone hears it. And smells it. So you have to try to hold it in. Fortunately, however, I can fart at will because I work remotely from home unless there is some compelling reason to go to the office. You know, like if I need to nab some more Post-it notes or send a personal fax or something like that.

2. What do you hate about your workplace?

What I hate is constantly hearing upper management say that the company’s biggest asset is its employees, but never seeing them do anything that would suggest we are any more vital to operations that the office furniture.

3. What small irritance at your workplace really annoys you?

That would have to be the fact that the kitchen and copy room are one in the same. While being able to make copies and heat up your lunch in the microwave at the same time increases productivity, we are in constant danger of mistaking copier toner for non-dairy creamer and poisoning ourselves.

4. Describe the actions/quirks of the weirdest person you work with (can be a co-worker, employer, or a vendor if you are self-employed).

Is this where I describe myself?

5. What is one thing that you would change at your workplace to make life a helluva lot better?

I would lay myself off with an overly generous severance package. That would make my life a whole helluva lot better.


Now I tag these 5 bloggers who hopefully will forgive me for doing so:

  • Jade (so she'll be forced to blog more about her new job)
  • Me ('cause she's crazy busy at work and needs a diversion)
  • Shadow Falcon ('cause she loves her job so)
  • T (to take her mind off being grouchy)
  • Vive42 ('cause otherwise she'll write more poems about parking garages)





The Funeral Music Meme

"The idea is to pick five songs that you'd like played at your funeral."

Um, yeah, that's a really cheery topic for a meme. There is sort of a technicality in that I am never having a funeral because whenever it looks like I'm about to kick the bucket I am having my body preserved through the wonders of
cryonics. Then whenever the fountain of youth is discovered I will be unfrozen and restored to a youthful 29 for the rest of all eternity. However, for the purposes of this meme thing, I will play along and say that the songs listed below are the ones that I would want played at my funeral if I were having a funeral.

1.
Highway To Hell by AC/DC -- Thanks, Rock Star, for suggesting this one in like two seconds when I asked you for ideas for this meme. I'm going to assume that you inherited a sarcastic gene from me and not that the song reflects what you think of your dear ol' mom. Anyway, I practically grew up on AC/DC, so I guess it's only appropriate.

2.
Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin -- Just covering my bases here. You know, in case there's a chance I'm not going to hell. But how come there's a highway to hell, but to get to heaven I have to walk up stairs? And, yep, dating myself again by saying Zeppelin is another band from my childhood years. I was such a little rocker.

3.
I'm a Bitch, I'm a Lover by Alanis Morisette Meredith Brooks -- "...I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one. I'm a bitch. I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint...." OK, that about sums it up, I'd say. [Update: Thanks to Jade for pointing out the correct bitchy artist. Apparently you can't believe everything you read on the Internet. Who knew?]

4.
Ghetto Gospel by Tupac and Elton John -- 'Cause every funeral should have some good gospel music, don't you think? "It ain't about black or white cuz we human. I hope we see the light before it's ruined."

5.
Llorando Se Fue by Los Kjarkas
-- OK, this one's an acquired taste, but I acquired it. 'Cause you know what they say: you can take the girl out of Bolivia, but you can't take Bolivia out of the girl.

Don't hate me guys, but if you're listed below you have been tagged.

  • BeeJiggity (One half thanks for introducing me to Lupe Fiasco and one half penance for voting for Bush)
  • Jill (she's musically inclined, so this should be a cinch)
  • John H (to give him something to think about when he's behind someone with 28 items in the 20-or-less check-out lane)
  • Nina ('cause she just bought a bike, which has nothing to do with this meme, but I couldn't come up with another reason)
  • Ra Ra Ra Bunggio(it's homecoming week, so he'll have music on the brain)





If I didn't tag you and you are really devastated about it, leave me a comment so I'll know to tag you next time. If there is a next time. Will you be heartbroken if I say I hope there is not a next time?

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

ahhh dude you already took highway to hell!

abbagirl74 said...

Funny, funny. Of course we would be heartbroken. Who else will give me my daily dose of sarcasm? I can't be the one to dish it out everyday, so I come here to read about it. I agree with you about the workplace's biggest assett. What a complete smelly fart.

Julie said...

HAHAHA funny. Thanks for answering my work meme!

Anonymous said...

Great choices. You didn't tag me, but 3 or other people did. Man, this meme stuff spreads quicker than most communicable diseases, doesn't it? Have a great Thursday.

Anonymous said...

I am so lucky that I work out of my house...

Not that I'm rubbing it in or anything... ;)

Steve~

Jade said...

Alanis Morrisette didn't sing the B*#ch song. Meredith Brooks did. But, what the heck, your dead so I guess we will let you slide on that one.

Kirsten said...

Michael C is right, these meme do spread like a bad rash. I got that funeral one too, and was gonna tag you but got up to 5 people before I got to your name.

PARLANCHEQ said...

shadowfalcon: Not to worry, I'm not claiming sole rights.

abbagirl74: Everyone deserves a fart-free work environment. ;)

julie: No prob. :)

michael c: Three tags...Yikes!

steven novak: Working at home is the best! It's the only thing I like about my job.

jade: Uh-oh! I would hate to die knowing I had a boo-boo in my blog, so I fixed it. Thanks! :)

kirsten: I wonder if it is ever possible to run out of people to tag because every blogger has already done a particular meme?

Kirsten said...

Interesting question, but I don't want to find out.

Anonymous said...

Man, I love your tomb tunes picks! The Thinker burdened me with this morbid meme, too. You can check out my list if you want. c",)

Rock on!

Anonymous said...

I just did that funeral song one too.. creepy theme for a meme.

Good to see you on my blog!

PARLANCHEQ said...

Beta made some people turn anonymous, but I think I remember who you were...

Irene Tuazon: We'll have to pay The Thinker back sometime! I will be over to check your responses soon.

Island Spice: Wow, that meme really got around! Good to see you here too.