Tuesday, October 03, 2006

My New Motto

I picked a piece of chocolate up off Rock Star's bedroom floor and I ate it. I know what you're thinking. What the hell?! That is EXACTLY what I was thinking as I did it. What the hell is my son doing hogging all the chocolate. He had a whole bag of Dove Promises. Well, not really in the bag anymore so much as scattered all over his floor, but he had lots of them. And he didn’t even think to give me – his most favorite mom ever and queen of all that is chocolate – a single piece. Humph! See if I share with him next time I have chocolate.

Oh, and if you’re still grossed out that I ate a chocolate off the floor, get over it. It was in a wrapper, for goodness sakes! And this is what the wrapper said inside:



Wow! That is one profound statement. I decided it was almost like destiny that I chose to eat this particular piece of chocolate off the floor. It's like I was meant to make this my new motto. I figure right off it absolved me from stealing my kid’s chocolates, so I went and ate some more. (He should have shared anyway, like his mommy taught him to do.) Then I figure it pretty much gives me total leeway to do whatever I want from now on. If I’m evil, it’s all good. If I’m a bitch, no worries. If I don't follow the rules, whatev-ah. ‘Cause naughty is the new nice. This is gonna be fun.


(The fine print: During my chocolate high, I accidentally crumpled up my Dove wrapper, making it rather un-photogenic. Fortunately I found its twin on Flickr and included it above. All the Flickr legal mumbo-jumbo leads me to believe I may borrow the picture, so long as I say the original was taken not by me but by the magnificent and prolific photographer sneezypb.)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

i'm a firm believer that children are just parasites which we are made made to love (thanks to biology). so stealing from then isn't stealing it getting something back. its why babies are sooo cute to lower our defenses.

Anonymous said...

Perfect motto and say you follow it: steal the candy and steal the photo ;-)

thethinker said...

I agree with shadowfalcon, but in the reverse form. It's kinda hard to love a parent who TAKES THE FOOD RIGHT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

Just kidding.

Ra Ra Ra Bunggio said...

I really believe that as kids, we owe our parents for not just the money they spend on us, but the stress it takes to raise a kid... so taking a little piece of chocalate or two won't harm anything. Just make sure he doesn't find out cuz you know how kids are when they are forced to share...

austere said...

Some of those dove lines are on the dot. Of course of course.

PARLANCHEQ said...

shadowfalcon: Yep, but then those cute babies grow into teenagers. Yikes! :)

michael c: Yep, under my new motto I can get away with anything. :)

thethinker: To clarify, the chocolate was not in his mouth, it was on his floor. :)

ra ra ra bunggio: Wow! Too bad my kids don’t think that. ;) And don't worry, so far he does not seem to have noticed the missing chocolate.

austere: I think they are supposed to make you happy so you will eat more and more chocolate. :)

Angela said...

I wish my chocolate had good messages. The messages I get are "Snickers" and "Mars"...which make me feel paranoid.

Sneezy said...

Thanks for the attribution! I'm glad it was useful for you.