Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Never Too Old for Sex

I got a "Healthy Living" catalog in my mailbox today. It featured products seemingly aimed at an elderly clientele such as deluxe walkers, incontinence briefs and support hose, not to mention a host of supplements and creams carrying dubious claims like 'erases wrinkles overnight' and 'instantly stops arthritis pain.'

I wasn't too interested until I noticed the real action was hidden in the center pages, which were full of titillating headings like 'this vibrator gives you double the excitement' and 'any woman can achieve intense orgasms with this clitoral pump.' I was contemplating ordering myself a Vibrating Invisible Man even though, admittedly, the contraption lost some of its appeal when the fine print revealed that it required a non-invisible man (not included) to operate effectively.

(Link to catalog's website)

But when I saw the pre-printed name on the order form, I realized that the catalog had been placed in my mailbox by mistake. I returned it to its intended recipient... my neighbor, who is perhaps 102 years old. Do you think she'd be too put out if I asked that she report back after her Vibrating Invisible Man comes? (Pun intended.) I am interested in knowing if the product is all it's cracked up to be. But mostly I am interested in knowing if her virile male friends have any sons. Actually, better make that grandsons.


Lee said...

Oh that's gross. I need a big eraser.

nursemyra said...

hey that would be perfect for the gimcrack!