Friday, September 21, 2007

Can't Smile With You

I can't smile without you Barry Manilow told Elisabeth Hasselbeck, ultra conservative co-host of The View. Come Monday Manilow bowed out of his scheduled Tuesday appearance on The View, supposedly once and for all. Hasselbeck is the one voice on the show he can't tolerate, explained Manilow, because the things she says every single day suggest she's living in another world, posibly even on Venus. For a nice boy like me, Manilow said, sharing the air that I breathe with Hasselbeck is not exactly big fun.

But, it's a miracle, because somewhere in the night, Manilow decided he was ready to take a chance again and, somewhere down the road, perform all the old songs from his recent album on The View. So, one of these days, where or when still to be decided, you will see the show again with Manilow as a guest. Assuming Manilow doesn't wait until Hasselbeck is on stay-at-home time because of the kid inside her tummy, we might be in for a little jump shout boogie, if the last duet Hasselbeck had with Rosie is any indication, that is. (Please don't be scared for Hasselbeck; she puts herself in these wild places by being a conservative ditz but always seems to make it home again safe regardless.)

I don't wanna know what Manilow was thinking! Maybe it's not for me to say, given that it's all behind us now, but even now I think cancelling in the first place was like losing touch with what's important. Some girls like Hasselbeck, they dance around the truth all the time and claim we have the sweet life thanks to George Bush. But if you want to really let freedom ring, you can't let fools get lucky by giving them the stage twenty four hours a day while standing by silent. Otherwise, though life will go on, our civil liberties will become just a memory of some sweet day from the summer of '78. And that would make me bluer than blue.

Disclaimer: The fact that I used to own all of Barry Manilow's records and love, love, love him when I was a kid (before my rocker stage, that is) may have biased the writing of this post. I'm usually far more snarky when celebrities do stupid stuff.

Credit where credit is due
: I decided my original post on this topic was too boring, so I rewrote it, inspired by this. It may still be boring, but at least now it's uniquely boring.

Related story: If you disturb the peace in Fort Lupton, Colorado your punishment may very well be listening to Barry Manilow songs and other 'unpopular' music. Said the judge who hands down these sentences, "When you have a person playing rap at extreme volumes all over the city, and they have to sit down and listen for an hour to Barry Manilow, its horrible punishment."

If you've disturbed the peace lately, consider this your punishment...

1 comment:

~Vital~ said...

I remember the Barry Manilow specials that use to come on TV. I use to be so sad when they were over...yes, I was totally in love with him...I would cry as the show was going off...I was a very dramatic child.