Sunday, October 07, 2007

Who Still Loves Me?

When I first started blogging I was totally into my site meter. I would get up every morning and review the stats to see how many people read my blog the day before. (Do they love me??) And for how long. (How much do they love me??) And with how many page clicks. (How far are they willing to go to love me??) And via which domain. (From where do my lovers hail??) And, most interesting, from which referring URL. (How do they come to love me??)

As days of blogging turned into weeks of blogging, and weeks into months, and months into years (well, one year anyway, back in August; in case you forgot to send me an anniversary gift, it's still not too late) I became less obsessed with my site meter stats. Mostly because people left lots of fun comments for practically each and every thing I posted, even the crappy shit. (They love me!! They really, really love me!!) Alas, that is no longer the case. Comments have become few and far between on this here blog.

Now it could very well be that the dearth of comments has a logical explanation. (They still love me, right??) For example, it could be tied to the fact that I only managed a measly 25 or so posts during the entire summer and offered up no good reason - because I didn't really have one - for slacking off. (They love me, but only when they can get lots of me!!) Or maybe it's because, though I read them all, I no longer respond to each and every comment like I did when I used to blog 22 hours/day and sleep 2. (They love me, but only when they can have my undivided attention!!) Or perhaps it's due to me not surfing to other blogs as much as I used to, not for lack of desire but rather for lack of time. (They love me, but only as much as I love them!!)

Or maybe, maybe, maybe they just don't love me anymore. (They don't love me anymore?!) Hmm...

Once again, I am totally into my site meter. I get up every morning and review the stats to see how many people read my blog the day before. (Do they still love me??) And for how long. (How much do they still love me??) And with how many page clicks. (How far are they willing to go to still love me??) And via which domain. (From where do my lovers still hail??) And, most interesting, from which referring URL. (How do they come to still love me??) I will get to the bottom of this, yet! (Please let them still love me!!)


Who Still Loves Me Report
(Week of October 1-7, 2007)

1) Kinky pervs in the Arab-speaking world still love me!!



2) Kinky pervs in the English-speaking world still love me!!

  • Popular searches: 'vibrating invisible man' and 'sexy men and animals'
3) Guys with unruly balls still love me!!
  • Top search: 'ballbra pics'
4) People curious about butt plugs still love me!!
  • Related search: 'where to get butt plug for cat with fecal incontinence' [Having never written about this specifically, I will now offer up some helpful advice: get rid of the damn cat.]

5) Republicans still love me!!

  • Common search: 'dirt on obama'
6) Folks who eat cardboard still love me!!
  • Typical search: 'what sort of nutrition is in cardboard'

Conclusion: Sex-crazed cardboard-eating Arabs and Republicans with big balls and plugs up their butts still love me!! They just must not be the type to leave comments.

4 comments:

Amber said...

I try to comment on everything. I think you're hilarious!

And, being a comment whore myself, I appreciate the return favor.

But stupid frickin google reader has made me lazy when it comes to commenting. I'm a natural lurker. But I'm trying to come out of hiding.

Admitting I have a problem is the first step, right?

:)

Kirsten said...

I still read you, but mostly in my reader. It's so much more efficient, and I have so little time anymore - same with comments. But I am still here, no worries about that.

abbagirl74 said...

I visit almost every day. I am the one from Wichita, KS. Go check it out. I am sure I am there. And while I don't always comment, I do when you go missing for more than a week. I remember asking you where you have been on a couple of occasions. So there. Consider yourself loved. :)

Parlancheq said...

My brief episode of self-doubt has resolved, with all credit due to your comments. Thanks all!

Amber: Thanks! I hadn't thought of the reader aspect, but it does facilitate lurking now that you mention it.

Kirsten:Cool! And I hear ya on the time issue. I'm not sure how it is that there is never enough of it.

Abbagirl74: Aha! So that's you. I was getting worried I was being watched by one of those whackos from Westboro Baptist. Ha!