Friday, January 18, 2008

Work, Work, Work

I just finished working a 12-hour day! (Sure that included several hours of goofing off and a trek to Starbucks but, still, that's a whole lot of productivity.) OK, so I know some of you slave away like that on a regular basis so you don't feel my pain. But please understand my job for the past several years has consisted of pretending to be busy while doing zilch. (Thus all my random Internet surfing. Makes sense now, huh?)

And, let me tell you, it is a job at which I excelled. So much so that I was recently given a promotion. Really! Go figure. Back when I still had a work ethic I worked liked a dog (whatever the hell that means) and got one stellar performance review after another, only to get passed over again and again for promotion whilst whipper-snapper 20-somethings endowed with ivy-league educations but no useful skills or relevant experience got hired straight into six-figure upper-management positions. (Perhaps I am exaggerating a tad, but you get the idea.)

So awhile back I took to working only as much as I felt appreciated. And, by appreciated, I really mean paid. Which was not a whole lot, or at least not enough when compared to the compensation of the higher-ups whose work I did (when I felt like it) because they were far too stupid to figure it out themselves.

But (yippee for me) now I have been promoted and given a flashy new job title: Researcher. Don't ask me exactly what a researcher does because I haven't been told yet. Seriously. There's no job description because they made up the position just for me. If I were cynical and bitter (Who me?) I would say what I got was a pseudo promotion because the powers that be didn't want to give me a real one-step-up promotion since I lack these letters after my name: P, h and D.

But, whatever, because (Show me the money!) I got a raise. Sort of. Since I've been working my ass off ever since I was promoted, if I were to divide my salary by hours worked I might find I actually now make less per hour. But the researcher role does have its perks. For example, next week I get to schlep down to the toxic waste dump otherwise known as New Jersey for a business meeting.

Oh joy.

Do you think it's too late to get my old job back?


Meloncutter said...

One must be careful what one wishes for. ya might get it. LOL

Well, congrats on the promotion. (should I mail a sympathy card with that?). Sorry about the extra work with the promotion.

Can you sing? I play guitar and my friend writes music>?LOL Thats our answer to get out of the laborous grind. (we hope)

Later Y'all.

Parlancheq said...

Hey Meloncutter: Yes, I can sing. Just not on key. :)