Saturday, July 19, 2008

Sign on the Dotted Line

The motto of the Care 2 Petition Site is 'start a petition, change the world.' Power to the people! Or something.

Modify the English Language - sign ePetition

'Cats should be called pigs. I care deeply about this issue, and demand that it receive immediate attention.'

Establish New National Holiday - sign ePetition

'By replacing the phony Christian holiday Christmas with the Seinfeld holiday Festivus - based on love, peace, joy, happiness and equality for all men, yadda, yadda, yadda - we will no longer have to bow to the consumerism mentality that has taken over our country.'

End Cruelty against Webkinz - sign ePetition

'I watch YouTube all the time. There are many thing I hate about YouTube. But what I hate the most is the Die Webkinz show. It is all about Webkinz cruelty. If you enjoy Webkinz I hope you will help this petition.'

Establish Drug-Free Zone - sign ePetition

'I have witnessed drug activity in the past and present, at [my neighbor's house in] Roseville, MI. I am asking that legal procedures be taken to stop this in our neighborhood.'

End Suffering of Men - sign ePetition

'Onanism is an issue affecting men all over the world. Stop this monstrosity so all men can hold their head up and release the degradation that is onanism. It is very important that we get 10,000 signatures to stop this terrible affliction that you, your loved one or anyone you know could be suffering from in silence.'

Prohibit On-Street Parking - sign ePetitition

'I am sending this petition to you in the case of constant vehicles parking across from my home and making it extremely difficult for me to back out of my driveway. I understand that the area isn't designated as a no parking zone and they can park there but this issue should be looked at.'

Support Flying Spaghetti Monster Church - sign ePetition

(Petition sponsored by God) 'I'm pretty unhappy right now, with everybody taking my name in vain, killing each other, and trying to control what people think and do, claiming it's in MY name. The only true Church is The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I'll send this petition to all of the religions out there and basically tell them to get a life.'

The fine print: Minor editorial liberties were taken with the petition text included here (side note to petition writers everywhere - use spell check) but the gist of each petition was retained.

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