Sunday, November 02, 2008

Dumb Shit

Here's some breaking news out of Australia. And by 'breaking' I mean it happened on November 3rd and right now it's still November 2nd. Wow.


Teenager Arrested after Police Station Break-in

The news report is short on details, but seems that in the wee hours of Sunday morning an unnamed 16 year-old male broke the glass front doors of the Parks Police Station, located in Ottoway, South Australia. He was promptly arrested by officers who were on duty at the time. He is currently being held, pending an appearance in youth court on Monday.

He will be charged with stupidity. Reports are he plans to plead not guilty by reason of adolescence.



And, just to prove that I always thoroughly research all my posts, the actual police report is here.

And just to prove that I always really, really thoroughly research all my posts, Ottoway is a suburb of Adelaide, which (thanks Wikipedia) is the fifth largest city in Australia and home to the now-defunct band The Superjesus -- whose former lead singer has a dis of Sarah Palin on her website -- and the Feast Festival -- a celebration of diverse sexuality, though this makes it seem like what it sounds like: a cook-off -- and the world's biggest Christmas parade -- which is attempting to break the world record, currently held by a NASCAR event in Bristol, Tennessee, for the largest Mexican wave (turns out that's Australian for what we simply call 'the wave,' so named after it was done at the 1986 World Cup in Mexico, won by Argentina, thanks to this guy who, despite being a reformed coke addict, was recently named coach of Argentina's national soccer team) -- not to mention a crappy-ass McDonalds, a super bratty kid, a few flamingo haters, and some wayward sperm.

Clearly, I had way too much free time today.

1 comment:

B. Laesch said...

Haha. Thanks for the link. Glad I could contribute to your readers' knowledge of Adelaide, and the crappy McDonald's that wouldn't serve me because I took a picture of the menu.