PARLANCHEQ

Polly Wants a Cracker?

2012-01-07T22:54:00.002-05:00

It seems like these things don't go together:

- It is January.
- I am in Vermont.
- I went for a bike ride.
- I bought crackers.

But they do ...

Near the AT&T East Monument
(Or something like that)
Vermont
January 7, 2011

Yes, We Have No Bananas

2011-08-26T21:28:00.000-04:00

The grocery store shelves were looking a bit bare in the Boston area this evening as folks spazzed over the impending arrival of Hurricane Irene.

As seen in Cambridge, MA
August 26, 2011

Cock-a-Doodle-Doo

2011-08-06T23:50:00.000-04:00

As seen in Arlington, VT
August 6, 2011

Tweeting From the Grave

2011-07-27T07:37:00.001-04:00

I've been waiting and waiting for a tweet from Amy ever since I created my Twitter account yesterday, and got these 'helpful' little suggestions from Twitter about who I should follow, but nothing yet.

Apocalypse Now

2011-05-21T18:00:00.003-04:00

~~ Postdated May 21st, 6:00 pm ~~
( Just in case I am raptured up )

As seen in New York City on May 13, 2011

Child's Play

2011-05-07T23:59:00.002-04:00

Saw this while hiking in the woods. I have been having nightmares ever since.

Trust me, you'd have nightmares, too, if you were a city girl whose boyfriend convinced her to accompany him far, far off the beaten path into the wilderness where you can walk for miles and miles and see hardly any other living creatures. Except ticks. Lots and lots of ticks. Yikes!

Only kidding. The hike in the woods was awesome. Except for the tick part, that is.

Almost Heaven, West Virginia

2011-05-07T23:58:00.000-04:00

Actually it's Vermont. But 'Almost heaven, Vermont' just didn't have the same ring to it.

Girl Eats Juicy Cock

2011-05-06T23:59:00.000-04:00

Not only does my boyfriend have a big, juicy cock, he said I might get to eat it soon.

Purple Mountain Majesty

2011-05-05T23:59:00.001-04:00

Vermont ~ May 2011

Nature waits for no one. After noticing the setting sun was casting a purplish shadow on the surrounding mountains, there was hardly time to dig out the camera and snap a few shots before the effect was gone.

I Challenge You to a Duel

2011-04-30T23:59:00.002-04:00

As seen on opposite sides of Main Street
Northampton, MA
April 30, 2011

The woman carrying the second sign got a tad bit paranoid when I whipped out my camera because she thought I was a Beck follower. (As if.) Apparently the 9/12 Project folks harass her when she's out and about expressing her disdain with their movement. Perhaps they need a refresher on their own principles.

Principle #8: "It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion." ~9/12 Project

I'm a Poet and Do Not Know It

2011-04-29T23:59:00.002-04:00

He touched me, so I live to know
That such a day, permitted so,
I groped upon his breast.
It was a boundless place to me,
And silenced, as the awful sea
Puts minor streams to rest.

And now, I ’m different from before,
As if I breathed superior air,
Or brushed a royal gown;
My feet, too, that had wandered so,
My gypsy face transfigured now
To tenderer renown.

~Emily Dickinson~

Emily Dickinson Museum
Amherst, MA
April 29, 2011

~~~
Emily, I grasp thy work not.
The man of mine, he is hot.
To get to him, I must drive.
To rest midway, I do strive.
Your house, right there is stuck.
So pass it I do, on my way to fuck.

~Parlancheq~

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

2011-03-06T23:25:00.005-05:00

All the other people in the neighborhood have a Madonna on their lawns. These people must be atheists.

Somerville, MA
March 6, 2011

Pretty in Pink

2011-03-06T23:21:00.008-05:00

Japanese cosmetic company ICE GIRL makes a lip gel that not only helps prevent dryness, it can also reportedly lighten your lips to cherry blossom pink in just 10 seconds! And not just the lips on your face. You can use it on your pussy lips, too. Really. Just bear in mind this important tip:

"Suggest to get 2 tubes if you wanna use for lips and private parts. This is for hygienic purpose."

Spell Check

2011-02-26T23:59:00.003-05:00

Researchers say text messaging does not negatively impact children's ability to spell. But signs like this do.

Williamstown, MA
February 26, 2011

Goodwill Hunting #5

2011-01-26T22:00:00.001-05:00

My boyfriend and I scored this old-school vibrator at Goodwill for $2.50. He wants to sell it on eBay. As if. I mean, what if we break up? I'm gonna need that thing.

Ho, Ho, Ho

2010-12-25T00:02:00.000-05:00

Usually I don't drink before noon, but today I might make an exception. Did I mention that I hate Christmas?

Somerville, MA
December 2010

Santa's Other Sleigh

2010-12-25T00:01:00.001-05:00

~~ Merry Xmas ~~

Williamstown, MA
December 2010

Off to the parental unit's house for Christmas, then the significant other's for New Year's. Perhaps in between I'll update this blog with all the pictures and exploits I've accumulated over the past several months of not posting a damn thing. Don't hold your breath, though.

Grammar Lesson

2010-08-16T00:59:00.005-04:00

Not sure when to use the word 'less' versus the word 'fewer'? Never fear, for Grammar Girl has a tip to help you remember which of these similar words to use....

Just think of those signs at grocery store express lanes that read, '10 items or less,' she says. And then remember that the people who drafted those signs are dumb fucks who have shitty jobs, no doubt because of their inability to grasp complex English grammar rules. Thus, you should not copy the signs and should instead use fewer in this situation, because groceries are countable. Less is only to be used when individual items can not be counted.

Confused? Apparently, you're not alone.

Near the defunct St. Vincent's Hospital
New York City, July 17, 2010

While in New York City in July I also hit the Guggenheim (which I shall remember for the overpriced bite-size brownie purchased in the cafe rather than for the art) and the Museum of Sex (greatly enlarged since my last visit, suggesting size does matter) and walked Manhattan up and down. You'll have to take my word for all that, though, because the above pic is the only one I've deemed worthy of posting at the moment seeing as how I've covered NYC in pics before and have a backlog of other photos to post from post-NYC visits to DC and Vermont, as well as forays around Boston. Stay tuned for all that.

Porn: Good for Your Love Life

2010-08-16T00:57:00.002-04:00

My lack of postings of late does not mean that I have fallen off the face of the earth. It means I've been busy with other things. Like achieving orgasm through the use of porn. Though perhaps not in the way you might assume.

See, back in April I made a porn video. Wait, don't get too excited; I mean I made a video about porn. Said video caught the eye of two YouTubers. One sent me a message telling me I'm a slut. The other sent me a message inviting me to his house. I figured, if I'm a slut, there should be no harm in going to the house of a random guy encountered over the Internet, so off I went. (After conducting an extensive background check of the guy, of course. I may be a slut but I'm not an idiot.)

To make a long story short, we are now dating. I think. Or maybe we're more like activity/fuck buddies. Hard to say. But whatever, it feels great. And I'm not referring just to the sex part. The hanging out and talking moments are awesome, too. I've never felt so totally in sync and comfortable with a member of the male species.

I'm tempted to give him a blog pseudonym so I can sprinkle references to him in future posts. But he might not even like that I've said this much, so I'll hold off for now. After all, I don't want to jeopardize the chances he and I will have future intimate encounters. Because then I may have to start watching porn again. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It just pales in comparison to the real deal.

As seen in the Ville, August 15, 2010

Riots, Rights and Rain

2010-06-13T23:43:00.002-04:00

None of the gay people I know go the Pride Festival so I felt obligated to go yesterday and show pride on their behalf. It was a wet, nasty day so the queens were not out in force. (Mind you, if I spent hours in front of the mirror making myself beautiful, I wouldn't go out in the rain either.) Nevertheless, plenty of others came out to show their pride. Video proof here and here.

Boston Pride Festival
June 12, 2010

The theme of Boston Pride 2010 was 'Riots to rights: Celebrating 40 years of progress.' It was intended to recognize the Stonewall Riots as the start of the modern gay rights movement, as well as the rights that movement has helped secure to date.

Love Is Not An Abomination

2010-06-13T23:42:00.005-04:00

Love trumps Leviticus button: $1
Propagating the message it carries: Priceless

I coulda sworn I bought this at PFLAG's booth at Boston Pride 2010, but maybe not since the button doesn't seem to be available for sale online from the national organization or the Boston chapter. Someone should market it, cuz it's awesome.

Cowabunga, Dude

2010-06-10T18:46:00.001-04:00

In the US, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - characters that started as a comic and later morphed to TV, movies, video games and plastic action figures - are primarily popular among young kids. In Serbia, however, it seems the characters caught on with middle-age men. Or at least I think the chorus to the song this music group is singing is something like, "Ninja, Ninja Turtles. We love it!'

Light the Lamp, Not the Rat

2010-06-09T22:56:00.001-04:00

This lamp would be a classy addition to any home but may be especially appropriate for homes in rat-infested neighborhoods since rodents that find their way inside will blend right into the decor rather than be cause for alarm.

Rat lamp, made from stuffed rats, by Alex Randall

(Other designs by the artist here)

Credit where credit is due: Lamp found via TreeHugger's slide show on the International Contemporary Furniture Fair. Title compliments of Rizzo the Rat.

The Bathroom Bandit

2010-06-09T22:55:00.000-04:00

Returning home from a night of partying, a Somerville, MA man had an urgent need to pee. So urgent, in fact, that he popped into a stranger's home to use the bathroom. No worries, though, as the man was a considerate house guest. Indeed, not a single drop of urine was left on the toilet seat nor was the seat left up when the man finished his business.

I know, I know, it's hard to believe a guy would do something like that - I mean, a man not pissing on the seat? Unheard of! - but the local newspaper reported that when police arrived on the scene and found the man on the toilet, he said,"What's the problem, I'm not shitting. I'm just pissing, I sit down when I piss!"

The moral of this story is guys who pee sitting down should be sure to not get so drunk they wander into a random home to pee, because then their names are sure be predominantly displayed in the police blotter for everyone in town to see.

Migra, Migra, Pinche Migra

2010-06-08T19:07:00.003-04:00

If your last name is Hernandez, you better watch out for US Border Patrol agents. They want you dead. Or at least it would appear that way.

Anastasio Hernández died on May 31st, after suffering cardiac arrest when Border Patrol agents in San Ysidrio, CA beat him and then subdued him with a stun gun. It has been reported that perhaps as many as 20 Border Patrol officers took part in the beating. High blood pressure and methamphetamine use may have played a role in the 42-year-old man's death but, nevertheless, the San Diego coroner has labeled the case a homicide. Mr. Hernandez, although undocumented, had lived in California for 26 years and had five US-born children, the youngest of which are four-year-old twins.

Sergio Hernández was shot in the head on June 7th by US Border Patrol from El Paso, Texas. Sergio, just 14 years old, died on Mexican soil under the bridge that separates Juarez, Mexico from El Paso. News media north of the border says the shooting resulted from a rock-throwing assault on a Border Patrol agent. The story south of the border is that Sergio was goofing off with his friends in the shallow riverbed of the Rio Grande and took a bullet a US agent shot across the border. Sergio, a secondary school student in Juarez, was the youngest of seven children.

The two deaths are under investigation, the first by the San Diego Police and the second by the FBI. Meanwhile all you folks with a Hernandez surname, watch out. Might even be a good idea to exercise caution if you're a Dominguez or a Martinez or a Rodriguez or a ... well, you get the idea.

Anastasio Hernández Rojas
(Photo: San Diego Immigrant Rights Consortium)

The body of Sergio Adrián Hernández Huereca
(Photo: Univision)

Beyond Pollution

2010-06-01T23:54:00.002-04:00

Here's a thought ... How about striving to reduce the miles you drive, so you don't have to fill up your tank as often. That'll show 'em.

'Boycott BP' on a sidewalk in Union Square

Somerville, Mass

May 31, 2010

War is Costly, Peace is Priceless

2010-05-31T23:32:00.001-04:00

Each of these flags represents a fallen service member with Massachusetts ties...

Boston Common
Memorial Day Weekend
(Display created by Mass Military Heroes Fund)

In case you were wondering, there are nearly 20,000 flags. I know because, after happening upon this display Memorial Day weekend, ~~I counted them~~ l looked it up on the Internet.

Artsy Fartsy

2010-05-28T23:35:00.003-04:00

Saw the Dr. Lakra (aka Jerónimo López Ramírez) exhibit today at ICA ... quite intriguing.

Also saw the Roni Horn exhibit ... WTF? The exhibit included such works as 'Paired Gold Mats', which is - surprise, surprise - a pair of gold mats laying on the floor, and 'Asphere X,' which is - surprise, surprise - a sphere (i.e., steel ball) laying on the ground. Lame! Or perhaps I was just absent the day they covered that kind of crap in art appreciation class.

Much better video about Dr. Lakra here. I just couldn't get the &#%% thing to embed in Blogger.

Abercrombie & Bitch

2010-05-28T23:31:00.001-04:00

For the bourgeoisie bitch on the go, a shopping bag from an upscale retailer is a must-have accessory. Not only does it exude style, placing it upon the adjacent seat on a crowded subway train reduces one’s likelihood of brushing shoulders with the masses.

Boston MBTA Red Line
May 28, 2010

(Although it almost appears the bag belongs to the woman in the white skirt, the other woman was revealed as the true [seat hogging] bitch when she detrained, bag in hand.)

Pleh Me Get Oral Sex

2010-05-28T23:30:00.001-04:00

According to Urban Dictionary, 'pleh' is either an adjective used to signal disinterest or a verb denoting the act of giving oral sex. As if anyone would ever be disinterested in oral sex. Seriously.

Congress Street, near Thomson Place

Boston, MA

May 28, 2010

Boston Classifieds

2010-05-28T23:29:00.001-04:00

For sale: Set of 4 hubcaps in super-shiny, like-new condition, only $24.99! If interested, pick up the item in front of the Bank of America Pavilion and mail the payment to Box 350, Boston, MA 02134.

Northern Avenue, Boston, MA

May 28, 2010

Toilet Humor

2010-05-28T23:28:00.002-04:00

Proof that not all slurs are offensive...

Ladies room at Bloc 11 Cafe, Somerville, MA

May 2010

Get Laid Tonight

2010-04-09T01:31:00.004-04:00

I was trolling the Internet when, what to my wondering eyes should appear but a tiny, naked woman in the lower, right hand corner of my screen. Now, it isn't every day that a woman pops up on my screen shaking her tits and ass (when I'm not surfing for porn, that is), so, out of pure curiosity, I had to hear more.

Turns out her name is Shea, she has great boobs (I know because she showed me), and she wants to fuck me tonight.

This is total crap advertising, Adult Friend Finder. I don't even go for girls! So, please never let this ad pop up on my screen again.

Xing Ba Ke Ka Fei

2010-03-25T22:38:00.001-04:00

I'm on yet another work trip. Can you guess where this time?

Chinatown
Washington, DC

Signed, Lady "G"

2010-03-24T22:54:00.010-04:00

I used to think that I was a normal child and my, well, eccentricities, if you will, developed as I aged. However, evidence has recently been unearthed that suggests otherwise.

When cleaning out his parents' attic, an old (platonic male) friend I first met way back in 6th grade found some letters I wrote him during the summer between 8th and 9th grade. For the sake of all the young'uns, I should explain that way back before there were such things as texting and tweets and Facebook, people wrote letters to their school friends. On paper! Via snail mail!

Well perhaps not all school friends exchanged letters during the summer. But those of us who grew up in the boonies, and attended multi-town regional school districts, and didn't yet have driver's licenses, and had parents too cheap to allow long-distance calls did. Why letters about opening up a nudist colony, however, I can not explain.

June 20, 1979 - "...I tried to put the colony at Warde's house, but he (Warde) was getting horny with all the colony members. I moved the colony to California. It was in a small town on the coast called Carmel. I had to get it as far away from Warde as possible. I am going to open up an east coast branch next month. Would you like to join (fig leaves are available)?" [Note: I have absolutely no idea who the horny little bastard named Warde is.]

June 25, 1979 - "P.S. My nudist colony is opening soon ?! Would you like to sign up?!?"

August 28, 1979 - Signed "Lady 'G,' President and Owner of Lady 'G' Nudist Camps (a world-wide organization)"

So Over You

2010-03-24T22:04:00.007-04:00

I recently found out that my ex-husband #1 (He was the drunk one. The abusive one was hubby #2. Yes, I do certainly know how to pick 'em.) had a stroke and is in the hospital. What exactly is the appropriate emotion for an ex-wife of something like 20 years to feel in such a situation?

This Is the [Cool] New Shit

2010-03-02T21:55:00.005-05:00

Turns out Marilyn Manson's music is way better with the volume set to mute. Who knew?

[The actual song follows a one-minute disclaimer about the song's foul language. It's worth the wait, trust me.]

Other ASL music videos by stormFX:
Crazy
Pump It

(I don't know a word of sign language. I just think the way these videos completely capture the music is amazingly cool.)

Generation Y, Not

2010-03-02T21:37:00.002-05:00

How much do you have in common with Generation Y? Take this quiz and find out.

Based on data from a recent Pew Research Foundation telephone survey of US adults, the quiz gauges just how close your values, attitudes and behaviors are to those of a typical Gen Yer, a generation also known as Millennials because they came of age in the new millennium. Scores range from 0-100, with higher scores more indicative of Generation Y.

Turns out I am not a member of Generation Y (my score: 38). However, after playing around with the quiz, I determined that if I get a tramp stamp, pierce my clit, and hang out on MySpace, I could be an honorary member (resulting score: 73).

Among the most defining trademarks of Generation Y, a.k.a. Milenials, according to the research:

Tattoos
- GenY/Milenials (18-29) 38%
- GenX (30-45) 32%
- Boomers (46-64) 15%
- Silent (65+) 6%

Body piercings
- GenY/Milenials (18-29) 23%
- GenX (30-45) 9%
- Boomers (46-64) 1%
- Silent (65+) 0%

Online social network profile
- GenY/Milenials (18-29) 75%
- GenX (30-45) 50%
- Boomers (46-64) 30%
- Silent (65+) 6%

Picture credit: mental3pal, on deviantART

Trash Talking

2010-03-01T23:50:00.010-05:00

Dear DOWNSTAIRS Neighbor,

You make way too much trash. Seriously. My household has three inhabitants (well, actually, two and a half since Rock Star is hardly ever home), compared to your one, yet you make double the trash we do. And it's really stinky shit, too. Just WTF are you throwing out? I know not recyclables since you fill your recycle bin, too. It's completely gross the way you don't rinse out any of the cans or jars, though. And, pizza boxes? Totally not recyclable round these here parts, dude.

You might wonder how I am so familiar with your trash habits. Well, you know how, once a week, you see your trash barrel and recycle bin move from the driveway to the curb in the evening, then back to the driveway the next morning after trash pick-up? You might have thought it was the trash fairy who was taking care of your barrel and bin rather than let your nasty rubbish accumulate right by the side of our triple decker but, no, it was me.

Several times now I have attempted to inspire you to attend to your own trash by simply ignoring your barrel on trash day. I figured you'd eventually realize trash doesn't just magically disappear if you don't put it curbside on trash day. But you didn't seem to get the message. I am, thus, hoping that you will read this blog post. If not, I fear I might have to trash talk you. And that wouldn't be very neighborly.

Kind regards,
Parlancheq

Dear UPSTAIRS Neighbor,

You make way too much trash. Seriously. My household has three inhabitants (well, actually, two and a half since Rock Star is hardly ever home), compared to your two, yet you make double the trash we do. And it's really stinky shit, too. Just WTF are you throwing out? I know not recyclables since you fill your recycle bin, too. It's completely gross the way you don't rinse out any of the cans or jars, though. And, pizza boxes? Totally not recyclable round these here parts, dude.

You might wonder how I am so familiar with your trash habits. Well, you know how, once a week, you see your trash barrel and recycle bin move from the driveway to the curb in the evening, then back to the driveway the next morning after trash pick-up? You might have thought it was the trash fairy who was taking care of your barrel and bin rather than let your nasty rubbish accumulate right by the side of our triple decker but, no, it was me.

Several times now I have attempted to inspire you to attend to your own trash by simply ignoring your barrel on trash day. I figured you'd eventually realize trash doesn't just magically disappear if you don't put it curbside on trash day. But you didn't seem to get the message. I am, thus, hoping that you will read this blog post. If not, I fear I might have to trash talk you. And that wouldn't be very neighborly.

Kind regards,
Parlancheq

TRASH: anycoloryoulike

Conservative Fundamentalists Are Stupid

2010-02-27T02:36:00.012-05:00

"Evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa at the London School of Economics and Political Science correlated data on [political, religious and sexual behaviors] with IQ from a large national U.S. sample and found that, on average, people who identified as liberal and atheist had higher IQs. This applied also to sexual exclusivity in men, but not in women." ~CNN, February 26, 2010

Don't you just love when scientific research proves that everything you always thought to be true is, in fact, true? Liberals, atheists and gay men ARE super smart. Oh wait, 'sexual exclusivity in men' doesn't mean men who have sex with men, like I imagined at first glance. It means men who are monogamous. Guess that counts out the gays because everyone knows all gay men live their lives in sexual overdrive. So, let me rephrase: Liberals, atheists and the three men in America who never have and never will sleep around are super smart.

Now, seeing as I am both liberal AND atheist (and, therefore, if CNN is to be believed, super, super smart by definition), I was tempted to just post the CNN news blurb and leave it at that. However, being super, super smart, I know when it comes to reporting research results, mainstream media gets the story half wrong half of the time. (The other half of the time mainstream media gets the story completely wrong.)

So I pulled the actual research manuscript behind CNN's story -- a paper entitled 'Why Liberals and Atheists Are More Intelligent' from the scholarly journal Social Psychology Quarterly. (Or at least the 'online first' version [subscription required for full text] of the paper that will appear in print in the March 2010 issue.) And then I read all 20+ pages of it. Twice. (No, I am not kidding. I actually did this. Which means that I AM super, super smart. Or that I have no life. Or both.)

And here's what you should know about CNN's news story. It's half wrong. (Ah-ha. I believe I predicted that would be the case. My super, super smartness pays off again.)

Of course my unbiased (liberal, atheist) opinion is that the conclusion suggested by the work's title -- that liberals and atheists are super smart -- is true. And if all that were required were a highfalutin hypothesis and some sophisticated statistical manipulation, the study mentioned by CNN could, indeed, be cited as proof. Using multivariate analysis the study found that, though the absolute difference in intelligence between, for example, fundies and the non-religious was minimal, it was enough to be statistically significant. Thus, the suggestion in CNN's report that atheists are smart.

As an aside, that conclusion is a stretch since this type of analysis can't prove any particular group IS smart; it can only identify an association between the group and intelligence. Plus, the study was designed to see if being liberal and atheist is dependent on intelligence, not if intelligence is dependent on being liberal or atheist. I.e., it didn't directly assess how intelligent liberals and atheists are, but rather looked at how likely intelligent people are to be liberal and atheist. But because this is a blog and not a statistics class, I won't get hung up on these points.

What I would like to bring to light instead, is that a study's merits depend not only on how the data were manipulated, but also on the underlying data itself. And the data used in the study don't accurately measure IQ or liberalism (at least not as described by the study's author) or atheism. The overall study involved secondary analyses of two different data sets but, since the CNN story focuses on results from only one, let me review that one in more detail than CNN bothered with, and show you exactly what I mean.

The data come from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, a.k.a. Add Health, which interviewed a bunch of high school and junior high school students, then re-interviewed them later when they were young adults. The students were selected from a representative sample of US schools so, though I could quibble over the representativeness of survey respondents themselves, especially after 25% were lost to follow up, and harp on the fact the sample included only a single age cohort, for the sake of moving on to more important things, I'll just concede the generalizability of the data to every man, woman and child in the entire US of A.

Add Health assessed the smarts of participating adolescents not with a battery of IQ tests, but with a verbal acuity test, primarily utilized with pre-schoolers. CNN doesn't bother to mention this, but the study's author (Kanazawa) does, noting the test used was "properly a measure of verbal intelligence, not general intelligence." He then wrote half a page on the association between verbal and general intelligence, blah, blah, blah, making me think he was trying too hard to convince readers that the two concepts, while not the same, are similar enough for use when lying with statistics. But, rather than nitpick this point, I'm willing to grant that the study measures something close enough to IQ for government work.

Given the study's conclusion, you might assume Add Health asked about liberalism. It did. But Kanazawa has a rather narrow definition of liberalism, saying it's "genuine concern for the welfare of genetically unrelated others and the willingness to contribute larger proportions of private resources for the welfare of such others." In other words, by liberal, he does NOT mean supporting things like the right to choose and gay rights. (CNN, in a rare moment of reporting research accurately, actually pointed this out.)

When Add Health asked, "In terms of politics, do you consider yourself conservative, liberal, or middle-of-the-road?" and respondents said 'very liberal,' however, they likely had a more all-encompassing definition of liberalism than Kanazawa's in mind, something conveniently ignored in the research report. I am tempted to belabor this point, but am getting really tired of writing this post and figure if anyone is still even reading this they probably are tired of it as well, so nuff said.

Going by the CNN report, or even by the research report's title, you might also assume Add Health asked about religion. It did. However, the data used by Kanazawa do not - let me repeat that - do not measure atheism. I know, I know. My smart, smart self finds that hard to believe, too. I mean, how preposterous is it to draw a conclusion about atheism if you do not even measure atheism? So, you might be wondering, what exactly was measured, if it wasn't atheism. Well, here's the Add Health question used in the current analysis:

"To what extent are you a religious person?’"
- Not religious at all
- Slightly religious
- Moderately religious
- Very religious

A response of 'not religious at all' was apparently taken to be synonymous with atheism. Which means all those folks who say they're spiritual but not religious were tagged as atheists. Not to mention all those folks who are on the fence -- unsure that there is a god but not wanting to say definitively that there's no evidence of him, just in case he exists and they end up in hell for eternity -- also got pegged as atheists. Call me crazy, but I just don't buy that self-classifying as 'not religious at all' is equivalent to being an atheist.

But, come to think of it, if the study found so-called atheists to be of superior intelligence compared to Jesus-freaks, but the atheist group was actually tainted by a bunch of folks not quite smart enough to reason out the fact there is no evidence of god, removing them from the mix could only make the true atheist group even smarter. Which just goes to show, you can't believe everything you read in the news. But you can believe that atheists are smart. Or something like that.

"Humans are evolutionarily designed to be paranoid, and they believe in God because they are paranoid." Satoshi Kanazawa, quoted in Science Daily

Given that most awesome quote, I almost feel bad for saying anything negative about the dude's study. As reparation I'll toss out a link to his blog.

Family Ties

2010-02-21T21:00:00.001-05:00

This duo didn't win the open mic contest at Bloc 11 (which, by the way, is a totally happening little spot, albeit a tad bit too far from my house for frequent visits) last week, but I think they should have. Of course I might be a little biased.

Meanwhile, Sneaker Dude has up and joined the National Guard. I thought they would turn down his application once they found out his mother is a pacifist, but turns out they're not that fussy. Damn.

Who's Laughing Now?

2010-02-21T16:51:00.001-05:00

This was the US Today that was delivered to my sleeping car on February 11th, as my return-trip train chugged through the snow-ravaged mid-Atlantic states basically right on schedule. So, to all those folks who teased me about my plans to take Amtrak (rather than a plane) all the way to San Antonio and back, I say, who's laughing now?

Storm Paralyzes Air Travel - USA Today

I Hate Drunk People

2010-02-21T16:50:00.003-05:00

I know you're probably tired of posts about my trip, but no review of a New Orleans vacation would be complete without mentioning the alcoholic excesses of the city. Unlike in most cities, the bars in New Orleans can (and many do) stay open and serve alcohol open 24-7. In addition, unlike in most cities, drinking is allowed in the streets in New Orleans (so long as the drinks are in plastic cups), giving rise to numerous hole-in-the-wall (literally) 'to-go' bars along Bourbon Street.

That would all be well and good, except it would appear far too many people who visit New Orleans don't know how to control their alcoholic intake and, thus, end up spending their entire visit drunk off their assess. And I'm not talking about only 20-somethings either. I'm talking about 30-somethings, 40-somethings, 50-somethings and beyond, as well. Why, why, why? I'm afraid I just don't get how that would make for a fun vacation.

P.S. I am not a teetotaler. I just know how to drink responsibly.

Service with a Smile

2010-02-21T16:49:00.000-05:00

Just about everyone I know who has ever been to New Orleans told me that I absolutely, positively had to go to Cafe du Monde for cafe au lait and beignets. So I did. My initial impression? How on earth has this place stayed in business since 1862?

Of course, I should mention that the day I visited I waited 15 minutes to sit inside because it was freezing cold. I then waited some more for the waitress to show and clean off my table. And then I waited some more for her to come back and take my order. And then I waited some more for her to bring my order. And then, since she somehow got my order wrong (even though this is basically the entire content of the place's menu: beignets, cafe au lait, regular coffee, milk, orange juice), I waited some more while she brought me the right thing.

In fairness (and also because the nearest Starbucks, in The Shops at Canal Place, wasn't exactly among the chain's top-notch locales), I decided to give Cafe du Monde another shot, this time trying the take-out window. The service was faster and my order was actually right. But ... I had a hard time not thinking that cafe au lait, despite its fancy name, is nothing more than coffee with milk in it, and beignets are nothing more than fried dough (with far too much powdered sugar on them).

Before passing final judgement on the place (and also because the nearest Starbucks basically sucked), I decided to give Cafe du Monde one more shot, this time back in the dining area. A nice older guy was my waiter. The service was quick and correct and even came with a heaping side order of southern hospitality. Funny how that sort of thing can make coffee and fried dough taste better. But it might just have made a convert out of me. Or at least I returned every subsequent day I was in New Orleans. Some days more than once.

So, now I just have one question. When is a Cafe du Monde location going to open in my neighborhood? I mean, how on earth has this place not already gone global?

The Saints Go Marching

2010-02-21T16:48:00.000-05:00

Who dat say dey gonna work during dat Saints parade? Not DHL.

DHL Pick-Up Box

The Shops at Canal Place - New Orleans

Morning of February 9, 2010

It Tastes Like Chicken

2010-02-21T16:47:00.000-05:00

Call me crazy but I'd be a little suspect of the 'burgers' at this spot.

Gator Me Crazy Cafe ~ New Orleans

Good Help Is Hard To Find

2010-02-21T16:46:00.007-05:00

At first this sign seen on a shop in New Orleans confused me ...

Because with the shop locked up tight, how do passersby even decide that they would like to buy something from the place? But later (through the wonders of the Internet) I determined that the establishment is a psychic gift shop. Thus, I guess one uses extrasensory perception to determine what the place has for sale. I am left wondering, though, why is a telephone number needed? Can't potential patrons just send their purchase requests telepathically?

Discalimer: This post is merely an observation and is in no way intended to suggest that psychic clarivoiyance is not legit. So no need to go poking a pin in a voodoo doll in my name or anything.

Walking Tour, Attempt #2

2010-02-21T16:11:00.002-05:00

After Monday's failed attempt at a Grey Line Garden District walking tour, I thought I was all set for a different Garden District walking tour on Tuesday morning after picking up a brochure in my hotel about a tour that departed from the historic Pontchartrain Hotel. I'd have to take the St. Charles Avenue Streetcar to get there, but I decided that, despite all the warnings about crime in New Orleans, taking a streetcar during the day that's manned by a driver can't be too dangerous. (Just in case, I tucked my money in my bra. Added bonus: Carrying cash that way made my boobs look bigger.)

So, anyway, bright and early Tuesday morning, I hopped the streetcar. (As an aside, the St. Charles Avenue line is the oldest continuously operating streetcar in the world. To maintain its historic status, no AC has been installed in the trains, making me glad it was February and not August.) I found the hotel without difficulty. Only one problem -- The Pontchartrain Hotel closed down in 2007. (In retrospect it would have been prudent to check online before heading out. Too bad Internet access from my hotel was so unreliable as to not make this a viable option.)

Was this second failed attempt at taking a Garden District walking tour a sign that I should not take a Garden District walking tour, or was it a sign that I should just screw the organized tour approach and check out the area on my own? Normally I would have pondered this over a Starbucks latte, but all I could find in the immediate vicinity was a little corner dive that had an espresso machine, so I had to make due with that. Given the kindly, neighborhood feel of said dive, I decided to risk life and limb and walk around the Garden District all by my lonesome. Here's what I saw...

Lots of big houses.

Lots of Mardi Gras beads.

Lots of dead people.

And this.

Which I took as a sign that I should get back to my hotel in the relative safety of the French District post haste and not venture out alone in New Orleans ever again.

Walking Tour, Attempt #1

2010-02-21T14:32:00.001-05:00

News stories and online postings about New Orleans suggest robbery and murder await tourists who dare venture to the city. Even natives I encountered on the train urged extreme caution. "While in the French Quarter, always walk against the traffic on the driver's side, to avoid having your purse stolen by the passenger of a passing car," advised one. "The French Quarter is the safest part of the city, but don't go out by yourself after 9 pm, even there," said another.

True or not, this info made me a bit leery about doing what I like to do best when traveling ... walking around off the beaten path and seeing all the funky local stuff tourists usually miss. What's more, this info even made me sink so low as to consider taking an organized tour. I know, gag, but mingling with tourists is (ever so slightly) preferable to getting knifed in a dark alley.

So, after exploring available tour options, I settled on a walking tour of the Garden District neighborhood, figuring that walking around with a bunch of folks from Iowa (or wherever) was a lesser evil than riding around with them on a tour bus. When I showed up at the Grey Line Tours office bright and early the Monday after the Super Bowl, however, I was told the tour had been cancelled due to lack of interest. (Damn you Saints for winning the Super Bowl, causing most tourists to party hardy and fail to wake up the next day ready and eager to tour the city.)

Non-cancelled tours that day included a bus tour of the city, a bus tour of the Katrina-ravaged parts of the city and a bus tour to a plantation an hour outside of the city. Given my total disdain of bus tours, these were not especially enticing. Given all the warnings about the dangerousness of New Orleans, neither was venturing out on my own. Following a half hour of indecisiveness, spent visiting the crappy Starbucks on Canal Street for a latte fix, I decided on the plantation tour because it included off-bus time. (Plus, a person on the train had said plantations were a must-see for Yankees visiting the deep south.)

While I imagine you'd love to read a minute-by-minute synopsis of the entire four-hour tour, you'll have to make due with the abbreviated version (plus pics!) because this post is more about why I ended up on a plantation tour than the tour itself. The bus driver spouted Louisiana facts the whole hour there and back (admittedly in a mildly amusing way) We were released from tour bus hell twice, once for the walk-thru tour of the plantation house (and quick visit to the gift shop), and once on the banks of the Mississippi facing the plantation for a photo op.

Bottom line, I would have preferred walking around on my own off the beaten path of New Orleans (or, had I planned to spend more days in New Orleans, perhaps venturing out via rental car to explore the various plantations along the Mississippi at my leisure), but the plantation bus tour was not completely awful. After all, not only can I now say that I've been to an actual antebellum sugar plantation (woo hoo), I also can say I was not robbed or murdered in the process.

Oak Alley Plantation - Vacherie, Louisiana
(and the tour bus that took me there)

Who Dat Say Dey Gonna Beat Dem Saints?

2010-02-20T23:59:00.002-05:00

Towards the end of the Saints-Colts Super Bowl game on February 7th, my son Sneaker Dude sent me this text message:

"Mom dont leave the hotel! Its about to be pandemonium in the french quarter."

Too bad his missive arrived too late. I had already left my hotel. Because, even though being in New Orleans on the day the city's team was trying to win the Super Bowl for the first team ever was pure happenstance (I actually planned my trip before the Saints made it to the Super Bowl.) and even though I am not a a football fan (That's an understatement, though I don't hate football as much as I hate baseball.), much less a Saints fan, it just wouldn't be right to be so close to the action yet not partake.

The pic below shows how Bourbon Street was eerily silent during the game because everyone was glued to the TV screen in the bars. The video that follows was shot near the same corner (Bourbon and St. Ann), shortly after the game ended.

And here's Bourbon Street the next morning. The street was eerily silent once again, because all the Saints fans were in bed nursing major hangovers.

Woof, Woof

2010-02-20T23:57:00.001-05:00

To refresh your memory about my trip itinerary, to get to my ultimate destination of San Antonio via Amtrak I took a train from Boston to New York City, then New York City to New Orleans, and finally New Orleans to San Antonio, all of which has been (more or less) reflected in the previous posts. Now it's time to post about the return trip.

Had a deja-vu moment upon my return arrival in New Orleans on February 7th, when the taxi from the train station could not get to my hotel because streets in the French Quarter were blocked due to a Mardi Gras parade. I got dropped several blocks away, right in the middle of the parade, so if you saw an idiot watching the parade with a suitcase in one hand and a camera in the other, that was me.

Oh, and did I mention it was a Mardi Gras parade for dogs? I kid you not...

Who knew that dogs were such football fans?

Up, Up and Away

2010-02-20T23:49:00.004-05:00

San Antonio's Tower of the Americas, built for the 1968 World's Fair, stands at 750 feet tall. That sounds big until you check Wikipedia* and find that the world's tallest tower is more than double that size.

From the bottom, looking up...

From the top, looking down...

* Ah, but of course Wikipedia has a list of the world's tallest towers, because it has every bit of pointless info you'd ever care to seek out. Isn't the information age great?

Mural, Mural on the Wall

2010-02-20T23:08:00.003-05:00

Google, you failed me! When I tried to use you to find the the scoop on these San Antonio murals, online details were few and far between. Fortunately I took close-ups (not pictured here) of the signs near some of the murals so I can leave a little tidbit here for the next person who Googles this stuff. Google, I'll bill you later the improvement in your search results that this post will yield.

Pics 1-3: Located just off East Commerce Street near Sunset Station, the Texas Musical Legends Mural was created by student artists under the direction of Gary V. Lett, and dedicated in December 2005. According to its sign, "This ceramic mosaic tile mural is designed to honor those Texas-born musicians that have made an indelible world impact to their particular musical genre." (More here, although the site erroneously refers to the mural as the 'Texas-Born Musicians Mosaic.') In case you're wondering what Texas music sounds like, the contemporary artists pictured are (L-R, across the top section of the mural): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

Pic 4: Located on the Goodwill building at West Commerce and Santa Rosa, the New Chapa Lion Mural was created by San Antonio artist Jesse Treviño. According to its sign, a nearby drugstore, demolished in 1970, included a painted mural of a lone lion known as the Chapa Lion, because a man named F.A. Chapa started the store. He named the store 'La Botica de Leon' (Lion Drugstore) after his native state of Nuevo Leon, Mexico. The current mural, created in tile to make it long-lasting, was conceived in 2000 when Goodwill renovated a building that used to be next to the Lion Drugstore. The artist included a pride of lions in the new mural to signify the growing community. "The working figures surrounding the perimeter represent Goodwill's mission, 'To Help Change Lives Through the Power of Work.'"

Pic 5: Located on the side of the CRISTUS Santa Rosa Children's Hospital that faces Milam Park, the Spirit of Healing Mural was designed by Jesse Treviño. According to info here and here, the mural, completed in 1997, is one of the largest murals in the US. Spanning nine stories of the hospital, the mural is 93 feet tall and 43 feet wide. It contains over 150,000 pieces of hand-cut ceramic tile (100,000 of which were reportedly cut by the artist himself), in 70 different colors. The cost of erecting the mural, which was commissioned by Santa Rosa Health Care of San Antonio, was $1.5 million. (It is said the hospital had no idea up front how expensive the undertaking would turn out to be.) The child depicted is based on the artist's son and the angel on his deceased sister.

Pic 6: Located on the side of the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center in West San Antonio, La Veladora of Our Lady of Guadalupe was designed by Jesse Treviño and completed in 2006. (For gringos and infidels unfamiliar with Our Lady of Guadalupe, aka La Virgen de Guadalupe, get the history here.) Per info here, the 40-foot, 3-D mosaic includes an internal flame (just like a real veladora) and is dedicated to the victims of 9-11. Although the mural is a bit off the beaten path - in other words, it's not in the downtown touristy section of town - I figured it was worth going out of my way to find it since, if this site is to be believed, it's the largest Virgin Mary mosaic, not just in the US, but in the entire world.

Hy-phen-a-tion Is Hard

2010-02-20T19:08:00.001-05:00

Here's a tip for small-business owners everywhere: When promoting your business with a do-it-yourself sign, it helps to get the grammar right.

Seen near Market Square in San Antonio, TX

February 3, 2010

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

2010-02-15T23:51:00.003-05:00

As seen in San Antonio...

The have-a-ride-on-Chewbaca sign: 5 cents
A ride on Chewbaca: $5
A ride on the guy with Chewbaca: priceless

Die, Gringos, Die

2010-02-15T23:49:00.004-05:00

Must-see tourist attraction along the River Walk in San Antonio ...

"An old legend describes this twin cypress as a lookout of a Mexican sniper who picked off the Texans as they came to the river for water."

[My Boston - New York - New Orleans - San Antonio - New Orleans - New York - Boston Amtrak adventure wrapped up on February 12th. I'm just being slow about posting my travelogue since I'm still deciding whether or not I'm going to post that New Orleans was completely skanky and I hated it, or cut the city a break because of Katrina.]

Honorary Latina

2010-02-04T23:59:00.000-05:00

I feel soooo cultured after visiting two art museums in as many days. Yesterday it was The Museo Alameda and today, El Instituto Cultural de México.

On exhibit at the Alameda:

Jesse Treviño: Mi Vida [Jesse Treviño: My Life]
Arte en la Charrería [The Artisanship of Mexican Equestrian Culture]

On exhibit at El Instituto

Bicentario - Itinerante - Empacado, by José Nuño [Bicentennial - Traveling - Package]
Nuevo Léon: Imagines de Nuestra Memoria [Nuevo Leon: Images of Our Memory]

Admittedly I had never heard of Mexican-born, San-Antonio-raised artist Jesse Treviño before but his was by and far my fave of the four exhibits I saw. In fact ... Loved it!

Some background - Treviño was an up and coming artist in the 1960s when he was shipped off to Vietnam. A war injury ultimately resulted in the amputation of his right arm, so he had to relearn to paint with his left hand. The Mi Vida exhibit includes paintings from before and after the injury and is intended to show how Treviño's style evolved over time. No pics were allowed inside and my artsy vocab is too limited to describe the works adequately, so you'll have to make due with these links. Either that or just go visit the exhibit your own damn self.

I Visit, Therefore I Am

2010-02-04T23:58:00.002-05:00

The Alamo and San Antonio's River Walk are the top two tourist destinations in Texas.

I visited the Alamo and the River Walk.

I am such a tourist. (Ugh! Just kill me now.)

(Sorry for the dreary pics. It hasn't stopped raining since I arrived.)

A Sad Day for Massachusetts

2010-02-04T23:56:00.001-05:00

And for the whole country...

As an aside, it totally pisses me off that the dude got Kennedy's 'plush' office space. Scott Brown, as a junior Senator, should have been relegated to a dank, basement office until such time as he had actually proven himself worthy of better. So what if giving him a crappy office would have required other Senators to play musical offices? That could have been a little boost to the local office moving industry in these tough times and, thus, been a good thing all around.

For the Love of Starbucks

2010-02-02T23:05:00.002-05:00

Although I am a huge aficionado of Starbucks, I will be the first to admit that some Starbucks absolutely suck. (For example, most Starbucks located in suburban strip malls, not unlike the malls in which they are located, are horrendous.)

On the other hand, certain Starbucks are a cut above the rest and deserve to be recognized as such. Among those are this little gem I was oh so happy to stumble upon just around the corner from where I am staying in San Antonio. (Truth be told, I didn't stumble upon it; I asked for directions at the hotel's front desk.)

Given the architecture and outside covered roof deck with a view of the River Walk, I loved the place before I even walked in. It was an added bonus that they got my drink right, a feat that, sadly, not every Starbucks achieves despite the utter simplicity of my standard order: venti, non-fat, no foam latte. (Starbucks baristas seem to have difficulty preparing minimal-to-no-foam lattes even when I request no foam.) Numerous additional visits are planned during my stay in San Antonio.

Update on 2/4/2010: I have now visited all three Starbucks in downtown San Antonio and can report that the other two are of the absolutely suck variety.

The one in the Marriott is most likely a pseudo Starbucks which carries the Starbucks name but is really run by Marriott. A large latte there costs $4.76 (including tax)! That's about a buck higher than the prices at the other San Antonio Starbucks, not to mention higher than NYC prices. WTF?

The one in the Rivercenter Mall gets a low rating because 1) it is located in a crappy mall, and 2) the barista there gave me a 'no foam' latte with oodles of foam and then copped an attitude when I asked (without even going all bitchy on his ass) for the foam to be removed. Also, what the hell is up with hording the milk behind the counter rather than leaving it on the counter? Perhaps that's to prevent homeless folks from fortifying themselves with calcium and vitamin D, but it's very non-typical of Starbucks and me no like.

Thank goodness the one pictured above (on West Crockett Street) has continued to please during several return visits, or I might have to cut my San Antonio visit short.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

2010-02-02T22:44:00.002-05:00

Last night Amtrak's double-decker Sunset Limited train whisked me the 573 miles from New Orleans to San Antonio in just under 15 hours. There were stops where passengers could get out to smoke or stretch their in Lafayette, Louisiana and Houston, Texas but, I must say, the highlight of the trip was the station stop in Beaumont, Texas.

That's a photo of the Beaumont Amtrak station between the pics from Lafayette and Houston. Not that anyone would know it since there is not only no station, there is not even a sign of any kind to alert anyone that the train stops at this spot.

Lest you think that Beaumont is a podunk outpost, I should mention that the city proper has a population of a little over 110,000 people, similar to that of Lafayette with it's quaint little train station. What's more, together with Port Arthur and Orange, Beaumont forms a metropolitan area with a population of about 385,000, and is a major industrial area of Texas.

The train conductor told me there used to be an actual station in Beaumont, but it "had been taken over by crack heads" and was bulldozed by the city. Why the city hasn't since constructed at least a few covered benches on the spot and hung a sign so travelers can find the spot is not clear.* But it is no doubt at least partly responsible for the low ridership at this stop (only 1769 boardings or aligtings in fiscal year 2009). Not to mention completely responsible for marring my photo collection of Amtrak station signs along my travel route.

In related travel news, I was hoping the train would be a few hours late to arrive in San Antonio, but unfortunately it was about 20 minutes early. Why would I want my train to be delayed, you might wonder. Well, because the scheduled arrival time was 3 o'clock in the morning. After not sleeping a wink on the train (because of a chat with fellow train travelers that extended into the wee hours), I ended up hanging out in the station until daybreak when I deemed it safe to venture out to the city proper. Fortunately San Antonio actually has a station in which to hang out.

* It seems economic recovery funds have been allocated to fix up the Beaumont Amtrak station but there is controversy over whether the stop should be moved entirely (to downtown Beaumont) or the current stop rehabbed.

Who Dat Nation

2010-01-31T23:20:00.004-05:00

If the street scene in New Orleans today was any indication, the Saints are very popular around these here parts. Especially among cross dressers.

Buddy D Parade

French Quarter, New Orleans

January 31, 2010

Apparently all the men in dresses were because sportscaster Buddy Diliberto, who died in 2005, had promised to wear a dress if the New Orleans Saints ever made it to the Super Bowl. (More here.)

I See Drunk People

2010-01-30T23:30:00.001-05:00

Never mind that, due to an apparent Yankee English to Bayou English translation issue, the cab I hailed at the New Orleans train station took me to the wrong address and that, later, the asshole driver ended up dumping me two blocks from the right address, saying he couldn't take me all the way because the road was closed.

And never mind that, after schlepping two blocks to the hotel with my luggage, I found that they listed my reservation as cancelled despite the fact I had previously called the hotel to confirm and was told everything was OK.

And never mind that, due to the aforementioned fuck up on the part of the hotel, I got stuck in their last available accomodations -- a shitty interior room that reeks of smoke and has a leaky ceiling. (No joke - it's been drip-drip-drip for the past hour; the hotel came and put a bucket under it.)

Never mind all that because I actually got to see part of a real, live Mardi Gras parade even though I thought the timing of my trip did not coincide with any of the Mardi Gras festivities. Apparently the celebrations start early so as to provide revelers plenty of time to have an excuse to be drunk and crazy in the streets.

Seriously, I have never seen more drunk people gathered in a single location. And not only 20-somethings either; there were a fair share of older folks out and about acting like idiots as well. My camera batteries were dying, so I just have a few parade shots for you...

Krewe du Vieux

French Quarter, New Orleans

January 30, 2010

Deep in the Deep South

2010-01-30T23:27:00.008-05:00

What do these cities have in common?

- Atlanta, Georgia
- Birmingham, Alabama
- Meridian, Mississippi

They are all places where the Amtrak Crescent stops for short smoke breaks on its trek from New York City to New Orleans. I don't smoke but I popped off the train so I could say I had been to all these places. Only to the platform at the train station but been there nonetheless.

Little known fact: The Amtrak Crescent passes through more states than any other Amtrak line -- NY, NJ, PA, DE, MD, DC, VA, NC, SC, GA, AL. MS, LA. (And I read that on Wikipedia, so you know it must be true.)

Election Day Weather Report

2010-01-19T08:25:00.000-05:00

Weather Report for Martha Coakley (D) Supporters: Light snow, accumulation of only 1 to 2 inches. Typical temps for this time of year in the low 30s. Don't let a little winter weather stop you from getting to the polls, because Teddy Kennedy will flip in his grace if Martha doesn't win his former Senate seat.

Weather Report for Scott Brown (R) Supporters: Lots of that nasty white stuff expected, possibly up to several inches in some areas. Very blustery, with temps only in the low 30s. Burr! Unless you drive a 4-wheel drive pick-up like Scott, you probably want to think twice before venturing out to the polls on a nasty day like today.

Weather Report for Joe Kennedy (I) Supporters: N/A (There aren't enough Joe Kennedy - no relation to THE Kennedy family - supporters to bother writing anything here.)

Often times on election days there are folks on this corner, which is across from my polling place, holding signs for their candidate or passing out literature. When I voted this morning there was no one there at all.

(No More) Daily Brew

2010-01-18T23:29:00.003-05:00

As seen at the Davis Square Starbucks in the Ville ...

I am contemplating just staying in bed until they reopen.

Freedom from Religion

2010-01-18T22:54:00.003-05:00

Isn't the US a wonderful country? Not only are people here free to pray to the god(s) of their choosing, they are free to occupy the public way to do so. A little known fact is that people here also are free to choose to not pray to any god at all.

As seen in Harvard Square, Cambridge, MA

January 2010

What's in a Word?

2010-01-14T22:47:00.002-05:00

As seen on Yahoo News, Reuters photographers snapped some shots of people at the collapsed Caribbean Super Market in the Pétionville section of Port-au-Prince today. Apparently these people, who are living through conditions that are almost too horrific to imagine after Tuesday's earthquake in Haiti, were (according to the title of the photo set) seeking food. No wait, they were (according to the caption for photo #1) taking food. No wait, they were (according to the captions for photos #2 thru #7) looting food.

Seriously, looting? I'm pretty sure that's a bag of rice being carried out of the destroyed store, not a large-screen TV and, as such, portraying these poor folks as lawless criminals was completely unnecessary. After all, who among us might not do just the same thing ('seek food') if in a similar situation with little or no humanitarian aid yet on the scene?

List of relief organizations collecting donations for Haiti here.

How Many Nickels in a Dollar?

2010-01-11T20:49:00.008-05:00

If trying to get the public to donate money to a charity is called a fundraiser, what is it called when a charity donates money to the public? A fundloser?

Sending out nickels is a lame fundraising idea, but it's sure nice to know my 2009 donation to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society helped to pay for 500 letters like the one I just got with a real, genuine nickel inside. I thought my donation was going to be used for cancer research, but apparently not.

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

2010-01-06T20:01:00.001-05:00

In February I have to go to San Antonio for work. I have identified three options for the Boston-to-San-Antonio trip:

Traveling via plane (with a connection in Houston or Dallas) takes about 7 hours, not counting the inevitable airline delays or time needed to make it through security screening. The airfare is currently going for under $300.

Traveling via train (with connections in NYC and New Orleans) takes about 50 hours, not counting layovers. The round trip, including a sleeper car, costs a little upwards of $1000.

Traveling via automobile requires almost 33 hours of road time, not counting traffic or bathroom breaks. Assuming the 4,000-or-so-mile trek were reimbursed at 50 cents/mile, the road trip would run around $2,000.

I'm sure the best travel option was as obvious to you as it was to me. Train! I should add that my fear of flying, irrational though it may be, weighed heavily into my decision. Plus, I've never been to New Orleans so I figured I might as well tack on a few days there to my trip, cuz there's no telling when another hurricane will come and wipe the city off the map for good.

(Side note: My family thinks I'm insane for choosing the train option. I suspect, however, that they may be jealous of the adventure I will no doubt have riding the rails. Or maybe they are just upset that not flying minimizes the chances I'll die in a fiery plane crash which would allow them to cash in my life insurance.)

I just have a few questions, though, to pose to those in the know about train travel on Amtrak's Sunset Limited line in Louisiana and Texas. Why on earth does the train trip from New Orleans to San Antonio take 15 hours (!) when the estimated drive time between the two cities is more like half that? Does the train only get to go 20 miles per hour through the bayou, so as to not upset the alligators, or something? I'm half tempted to rent a car in New Orleans and drive that final leg of the trip, but I worry that driving through the Bayou and then across Texas may be a dangerous proposition for a Yankee chick such as myself, given my limited tolerance of reptiles and cowboy-hat-toting conservative Republicans. Thoughts?

Waste Not, Want Not

2010-01-05T23:12:00.002-05:00

As of last week, I still had about $250 remaining in my use-it-in-2009-or-lose-it Health care Flex Spending Account. I almost bought a case of Advil to use up the money, but decided to order these instead...

And, even though I really do not need glasses at all (my lens strength hasn't changed in several years and I already have several pairs of glasses), because I was at a two-for-one place, I ordered these, too...

Of course all this ended up costing me $119 more than I had left in my FSA (because of the 'high-index lenses' they always convince me I need) but it's much better to waste money on something you don't need than to lose money. Isn't it?

Side note: I picked up my new glasses today. Sneaker Dude is not especially enamored with the first pair. He thinks I should remove the top, pointy piece of metal so the glasses won't look so 1950-ish. Apparently, being male, it escapes him that the funky, retro look is what makes them cool.

2009 in Pictures

2010-01-05T21:36:00.011-05:00

The good news is that I finally got a new digital camera to replace my old one that took super crappy pictures!

The bad news is that almost right after getting the new camera (way back in July), the cable required to download pics from said camera went missing.

The even worse news is that, subsequent to said cable for said camera recently being located in, of all places, Sneaker Dude's room,* it appears there was likely absolutely nothing wrong with my old camera. I just plain suck at taking pictures, period.

Nevertheless, here's a few so-so pics just to prove I didn't spend the second half of 2009 doing absolutely nothing at all, regardless of what my blog posts during that time may suggest.

August 2009: Carlos Mencia, Wilbur Theater, Boston. Disclaimer: Some people deem Mencia's brand of comedy offensive. Another Disclaimer: You may be offended to learn that your getting offended by stuff that's not really offensive makes for some really good comedy material. Dee, dee, dee. Yet Another Disclaimer: You may be offended to learn that I thought Mencia's show was completely hilarious.

August 2009: A House that Cotton Helped to Build, Union Station, DC. I went all the way to DC and back and the only pictures I came home with were of a display of donated jeans that are going to be shredded to make insulation for new homes in New Orleans. Explanation: It was August, and it's too damn hot and humid in August to buzz around taking pictures in DC. Alternate explanation: My DC visit was work-related, and I was too busy pretending to work to buzz around taking pictures in DC.

September 2009: Freedom Rally (a.k.a Pot Fest) on the Boston Common. Believe It or Not: I was the only person in attendance not completely stoned off his or her ass. More Believe It or Not: I have absolutely no clue why the dude selling fancy glass bongs was also selling bags of Romaine lettuce. (A bit hard to see in the picture, but those are, in fact, bags of lettuce under the bongs that are not in the box.) Still More Believe It or Not: If I were stoned, the bong-lettuce connection probably would have made perfect sense.

September 2009: Random religious fanatics, near the Park Street T stop, Boston. To Ponder: Was it coincidence that these folks were spied right next to the Freedom Rally, or did they purposely seek out the pot heads, thinking that folks who may not be operating with their full faculties are easy targets for religious conversion? More to Ponder: What does God make of the fact that these followers of his would appear to be missing more brain cells than most stoners?

October 2009: Hoards of obnoxious tourists, MoMA, NYC. One thing I don't understand: How come people visiting art museums spend lots of time looking at works of art that have been widely reproduced, and then buzz right by all the other stuff that they've never, ever seen before? (Shouldn't it be the other way around?) Another thing I don't understand: How come so many really famous pieces of art seem rather ho-hum in person? (Or was it just me who was so totally not blown away by Mona Lisa?)

October 2009: Hoards of obnoxious tourists, Central Park, NYC. Rock Star, huge Beatles fan that he is, was aghast that people dare to tarnish John Lennon's legacy by standing on the Imagine Mosaic. True Confession: I stood on the Imagine Mosaic. More Important True Confession: I did it just to freak Rock Star out, not because I am an obnoxious tourist.

October 2009: R&R Hall of Fame Annex, SoHo, NYC. Rock Star was quite taken with the place, minuscule though it was. Bonus: We visited on John Lenon's b-day, so museum admission (usually 26 bucks-ouch!) was free. Extra Bonus: Shopping and lunch in SoHo afterwards. Extra, Extra Bonus: It apparently was a once-in-a-lifetime experience since the place reportedly closed down this past weekend.

October 2009: Hair on Broadway, Hirschfeld Theatre, NYC. Downside: The tix cost something like $125 each. Upside: Our seats were in the second row! Up, upside: Totally awesome show (and I'm not even a huge musical theater fan, so you know it must have been good). Up, up, upside: Rock Star thought the actors were really smoking pot on stage during the pot smoking scene, which I found laughable. As if. (I mean, they weren't really lighting up, were they?)

* Apparently telling my 24-year-old son (a.k.a. Sneaker Dude) who decided to move back home last spring - oh joy! - every other day to stop fucking taking my shit and not putting it back was not sufficient. Therefore, I shall now commence telling him every day.

(So as to not confuse the masses, I should also note that the aforementioned Rock Star is my other son, age 19. As you have no doubt surmised from my youthful flair, I had both kids when I was in elementary school.)

(Don't) Say Cheese!

2009-12-08T23:23:00.006-05:00

Did you hear about Charlie Patton, the Texas high school student whose picture was excluded from the yearbook because she made a goofy face when they snapped her pic? Apparently her school - James Madison HS in San Antonio - has strict rules about yearbook photos and appearing too happy just totally crosses the line.

School administrators released a statement saying, "Since the yearbook represents the school and the students, the goal is to have every student presented in the best light. Students who make inappropriate faces or gestures or who do not follow the school dress code in their yearbook photos are asked to retake their photo free of charge." [As an aside, Charlie says she was not given the opportunity to retake the photo. Good thing, too, or there would have been no news story and, thus, no material for this post.]

I could perhaps see the point of a high school censuring obvious gang signs or an exposed nipple or some such thing from the yearbook, but deeming a silly face 'inappropriate' and unworthy of publication is ridiculous. The goal of a yearbook should be to celebrate and commit to posterity all the distinctly unique faces, personalities and talents that comprise the student body. That is only possible if students are given a little leeway to let their individuality shine through. (In other words, James Madison HS administrators should remove the sticks from their posteriors and find a way for Charlie's original pic to get in the yearbook.)

Related: Here's a page out of my freshman high school yearbook. Check out the second kid in the second row. (His name is - I swear I am not making this up - Charlie. Well, OK, it's listed in the yearbook as Charles, but I seem to remember that he went by Charlie.) His side-view picture choice was not censured by our school. Nevertheless, the school is still standing and, not only that, Charlie and the rest of us all turned out just fine.*

*Verification of this fact was attempted by trying to locate class-of-1980 Charlie via the wonders of Google. Amazingly he was nowhere to be found. I did find his brother, though (I think), and he's an architect, which is a pretty reputable profession, so I decided that was good enough for me to stand by my original statement. Fact checking standards in the blogsphere are pretty lax, you know.

All Politics Is Local

2009-12-08T23:07:00.007-05:00

Fellow Massachusetteans, mark down this date: January 19, 2010. That's the day you need to go to the polls to cast your vote for Martha Coakley (Democrat) for US Senate. Never mind that I voted for my home boy, Capuano, in today's Democratic primary to fill Teddy's seat; I'm now behind Martha 110% in her bid to quash the Republican contender, Scott Brown. The most liberal state in the nation absolutely can NOT be represented in DC by a dude who spouts this shit:

Scott Brown on abortion: "...I believe government has the responsibility to regulate in this area and I support parental consent and notification requirements..."

Scott Brown on marriage: "I believe marriage is between a man and a woman..."

Scott Brown on immigration: "...I oppose amnesty, and I believe we ought to strengthen our border enforcement..."

No matter how buff he might be.

Porn for Nerds

2009-11-18T22:04:00.002-05:00

Attention nerds: Absolutely no physical contact allowed! (Note, however, that you may jerk off under the table so long as you do it discretely.)

Moe Moe Kyun Maid Cafe, Anime Festival Asia 2009

More about maid cafes ...

"The idea came from Japanese video games where the main characters worked as maids in a restaurant. That spun off in 2002 as a Tokyo cafe where hardcore gamers and anime fans, known as 'otaku,' or nerds, were doted upon by maids who called customers 'master' and would even blow on food to cool it off. Soon, the Akihabara shopping district in Tokyo, where computer and comic-book stores proliferate, was awash in maid cafes, maid hair salons, even maid ear-cleaning parlors. ~NY Times

Credit where credit is due: Happened across the video at Page Load Error when searching for something else entirely.

For the Birds

2009-11-05T23:53:00.003-05:00

The blueprint ...

The final product ...

The move in...

Credit where credit is due: Found via YouTube, but the creative mind behind the birdhouse is that of a blogger by the name of Fuglekasse-Hilde, and the above pictures were found on her blog Kreative Krumspring. Which is in Norwegian. Which I don't speak at all, not even one word. Which is not a problem, thanks to the wonders of the Internet. Which provided a semi-intelligible translation of the related pages. Which suggested the birdhouse video was a winner in an ongoing contest sponsored by Norwegian Yellow Pages to prove that Norwegians are not boring. Which it would seem they are not.

Man Gives Mother-in-Law Cock

2009-11-04T20:54:00.000-05:00

Ugandan newspaper The New Vision reported this gem on an apparent slow news day in Soroti, Uganda:

"SOROTI-A man last week mistook his mother-in-law for his wife. The man, only identified as Ojirot, was drinking with his wife, mother-in-law and other people. After having one too many, Ojirot began pulling his mother-in-law towards himself, asking why she was unresponsive. After several pleas from the woman, he realised he was pulling the wrong person. He paid her sh2,000 [about $1 US] and a cock as a way of appeasing her."

Asked by reporters whether or not this resolved the misunderstanding, Ojirot replied that although his mother-in-law initially acted as if she wasn't interested in his cock, once he offered her money, too, she happily took hold of his cock.

Stuff You Won't Read on CNN

2009-11-04T00:01:00.001-05:00

I think the person in my neighboring apartment has H1N1. I heard her hacking up a storm earlier today right outside my apartment door. Shortly thereafter I emptied half a bottle of Lysol spay in the building hallway. And then washed my hands. Twice. You can't be too careful.

And, as if fears of contracting H1N1 aren't enough to turn us all into germaphobes, seems there's some sort of virus spreading across Ukraine, causing severe flu-like symptoms and viral pneumonia. It may be an especially virulent strain of H1N1, though several highly reputable conspiracy theorists have suggested it's a biological weapon manufactured by a pharmaceutical company (Baxter) and spread via the company's flu vaccine, which is being used in Ukraine.

Why would a pharmaceutical company try to spread some sort of pneumonic plague in their flu vaccine, you might wonder. Well, I have a conspiracy theory of my own about that. The more people who get sick, the more drugs that will be sold, right? And the more drugs that are sold, the more money pharma makes, right? So, obviously, the whole thing is nothing more than yet another ploy by big pharma to boost their profits.

When the story hits CNN, just remember you read it here first.

Dutch Treat

2009-11-03T22:59:00.003-05:00

As reported by Radio Netherlands Worldwide:

"Queen Beatrix is on a state visit to Mexico this week. The Central American country has had to wait 45 years for a new visit from Dutch royalty, which is remarkable considering Mexico’s close economic ties with the Netherlands... "

On the Queen's agenda are hitting the tourist spots and a meeting with Mexican President Felipe Calderón, during which, it is anticipated, the Queen will offer a long-overdue, official apology for the irreparable damage Mexico’s reputation suffered after Dutch musicians released this video.

Side note to Radio Netherlands Worldwide: Mexico is not in Central America but rather North America. (Like, duh! Mexico is way more like the US and Canada than like Guatemala and Honduras.) But we'll try not to hold it against you since practically no one in Central or North America has a clue where the fuck the Netherlands is.

Pink October '09 (#2)

2009-10-06T23:14:00.001-04:00

Stats suggest that about 1 in 8 American women will get breast cancer in their lifetimes. Media hype suggests that about 8 in 8 American women will get H1N1 influenza this winter. You can protect yourself against both diseases at the same time with this pink face mask.

(Medical supply company Crosstex is donating 5% of the proceeds from pink face masks to Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center for breast and reproductive cancer research. That's only something like one half of a cent per mask to split between research for boobs, uteri and ovaries, so good thing we have the flu scare to push up the sales of face masks.)

More Pink October posts here.

High School Musical #4

2009-10-06T22:49:00.002-04:00

One of the 43 million copies of this album ever sold was in my collection during my formative high school years. I can still sing along with every single track.

Side 1
Bat Out of Hell
You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth
Heaven Can Wait
All Revved Up and No Place to Go

Side 2
Two Out of Three Ain't Bad
Paradise by the Dashboard Light
For Crying out Loud

Pink October '09 (#1)

2009-10-05T22:21:00.001-04:00

As seen on TV! Except now even tackier, because it's ~~pink~~ soft rose! It's the limited-edition breast cancer awareness Snuggie blanket with sleeves!

$14.99 at fine retailers nationwide

(Also available online)

Not to be confused with the regular-old ~~pink~~ soft rose Snuggie, the limited-edition breast cancer awareness Snuggie comes in a box with a ~~pink~~ soft rose breast cancer ribbon on it so you can feel warm and snuggly outside and also inside, thinking you've done something to support the breast cancer cause.*

*The fine print: The Snuggie folks will make the same $50,000 donation to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation whether you buy zero, one, or one hundred ~~pink~~ soft rose Snuggies.

More Pink October posts here.

Sexy Hips

2009-10-05T21:07:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Malaysian newspaper Sin Chew Daily's Child Safety Alert Campaign Booklet, intended to help youngsters ward off sexual predators, kids all over Malaysia know it's very rude to expose their hips in public.

What they're not too clear on, though, is the exact location of the anus.

Democrats Need Not Apply

2009-09-08T23:46:00.009-04:00

I was oh so tempted by this eBay auction, but then I read the fine print. I'm not sure I measure up to Sarah Palin's subjective standards of suitability. Or at least I hope I don't.

The fine print:

"Governor Palin reserves the right to refuse dinner with a winning bidder if, in her sole discretion, the winning bidder is not a suitable bidder based on her subjective standards of suitability, professionalism, background and other factors."

UPDATE: The winning bid was $63,500.

Trashy Summer Reading

2009-08-19T23:26:00.006-04:00

Today I cataloged all the fine literature I've read so far this summer using LibraryThing. I'm not sure what purpose this serves -- other than to show the world that I read mostly mindless trash -- but at the time it seemed way more important than doing all the things on my work to-do list.

I started off using Shelfari but, after fighting with it for 30 minutes just to enter one book, I decided that it sucks and bailed. Moving over to LibraryThing, it took less than 30 minutes to enter all eleven books I've read since June AND to create a little widget with the corresponding book covers for my blog side bar. (It's way down at the bottom of the sidebar if you'd like to admire it.)

As an added bonus LibraryThing automatically compiles fun stats for users. (Shelfari does not.) Like, now I know that my average rating for books I have read recently is 2.45 out of 5 stars. This is important info because it shows that, even though I read trash, I know it's trash.

But lest you think that this is some paid post to taut the virtues of LibraryThing (which it is not), I should point out the cons of LibraryThing, too. It only allows users to catalog 200 books before becoming paid members. (Shelfari is free regardless of the number of books.) That's why I decided to list only books I've read recently and not every book on my bookshelf. Well, that was one of the reasons anyway. The other is that, contrary to popular opinion, I do have a life.

Phat White Booty

2009-08-18T21:41:00.007-04:00

Iowa's answer to Beyonce...

Goodwill Hunting #4

2009-07-01T01:30:00.002-04:00

I probably won't top this Goodwill treasure for quite some time. I almost didn't even get my hands on it. See, someone else dug it out of a bin at Goodwill, but seemed indecisive about purchasing it. When I inquired she said she'd stick it right in my fat little fist if she decide not to buy it. So I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Eventually she said she had enough of these at home, handed it to me and left. Thanks nice fellow Goodwill hunter. You rock. I had nothing like this before now. Actually I imagine most people don't. After all, how often do people deposit this sort of family history at Goodwill??

Front cover

First page

Sample of subsequent pages

The album, which is in amazingly good condition (to the point where I was almost wondering if it was a fake) contains 64 ' cabinet cards,' (4 1/2 x 6 1/2 inches) like pictured above, plus 10 smaller 'carte de viste' (2 1/2 x 4 1/2 inches). Also stuck behind the pictures were one funeral notice (Mary McNee, d. Nov. 11, 1887) and 1 locket-size tin type picture.

Most of the photography studios stamped on the cards are located in New Hampshire, with a smattering from other places, including some as far away as Cheyenne and San Francisco. Only a handful of the pictures have people's names on the back; those that were legible led nowhere fast on the Internet.

"Harriet Evelyn Snow, Age 1 years"

Do you have no ancestors young Miss Harriet, or do they just not care?

Goodwill price: $3.99 (Rung at the register as a 'special book.')

Market price: $5-$10 per photo (?)

Value: To a relative, presumably priceless.

Now with Fewer Calories!

2009-06-29T18:43:00.001-04:00

Great news for all those folks watching their waistlines! Tuna manufacturers have come out with a new kind of tuna that contains 25% fewer calories per serving.

Old tuna -- 80 calories per serving

New tuna -- 60 calories per serving

And, not only that, the new lower cal product costs the same per serving as the old tuna. Isn't that awesome?

Pictured: Nutrition facts from Trader Joe's Solid White Tuna (in water, no salt added), old 6 oz. (170 g) and new 5 oz. (142 g) cans. Shelf price: $1.49 each. (In case you're too lazy to do the math -- The smaller can resulted in a cost increase of 5 cents per ounce.)

De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bonum

2009-06-26T22:43:00.002-04:00

That's Latin for, 'Let nothing be said of the dead but what is good.' And it's good that this kid isn't scared anymore, right?

But, seriously, did this kid really stay up nights worrying about guarding his butt hole from Michael Jackson? Hope not. Because the fact is that most kids who are molested are molested by family or acquaintances, not pop stars.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

2009-06-26T21:17:00.004-04:00

Think legislating is boring? Well, not in Louisiana where they provide live entertainment on the floor of the legislature. And cake, too! Don't believe me? Well, video proof from the June 24th Louisiana Legislature session is going viral as I blog.

Yep, that's right, rapper Hurricane Chris, of YouTube fame, recently sang (or lip synced, mostly, it appears) his little ditty 'Halle Barry (She's Fine)' for legislators:

"She fine den a bitch, ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want her
Call her Halle Berry, Halle Berry ..."

Actually Hurricane performed a PC version with nary a mention of bitches or nigs. But, still, rather inappropriate. Yadda, yadda, no need to say more because posts to this effect are already all over the Internet. Google it if you care.

But here's what I haven't seen many mention yet. After Hurricane wraps up his performance (8:55 into the full-length video, which most people probably don't bother to see out to the end), some dude identified as Representative Thibaut takes the floor and asks Hurricane to consider writing a rap about his fellow Representative Norton (who happens to be Hurricane's godmother), adding:

"...Ms. Barbara Norton. Cuz, a, did you know? She IS fine."

Um, just what is Thibaut trying to say? That he thinks his colleague has a great ass and tits, and is deliciously thick in the hips?? Because that's Hurricane's definition of fine.

Credit where credit is due: Came across the video/story on We Saw That.

Beat It, CNN

2009-06-25T23:37:00.000-04:00

To the person at CNN who decides which news is so important as to be worthy of being emailed to the masses as a 'Breaking News Alert,' did we really need FOUR separate emails about the untimely passing of Wacko Jacko?

5:20 PM email: "Pop singer Michael Jackson has suffered cardiac arrest, CNN affiliate KTLA reports."

6:26 PM email: "Pop singer Michael Jackson in coma after cardiac arrest, CNN reports."

6:37 PM email: "Pop singer Michael Jackson has died, according to multiple reports."

7:33 PM email: "Michael Jackson is dead, CNN confirms."

Generation Gap

2009-06-25T23:20:00.003-04:00

When I told my 23-year old son, Sneaker Dude, that Farrah Fawcett died today he said, "Farrah who?"

"She was the blond from Charlie’s Angels," I explained.

Now he thinks Cameron Diaz is dead.

Credit where credit is due: Picture from Starcasm.net.

Crash and Burn

2009-06-22T20:00:00.012-04:00

The Bolivian television station 'Red PAT' scooped major US and European stations last week when it was among the first news outlets in the world to broadcast chilling images taken on board doomed Air France flight 447 moments before it fell from the sky on June 1st.

The images show the plane breaking apart mid flight, confirming investigator's suspicions of what caused the Paris-bound plane to crash into the ocean after leaving Rio de Janeiro. The pictures were retrieved from a memory card of a mangled camera that was among hundreds of pieces of debris recovered from the ocean near where the plane went down.

[Bolivian TV news, pics of plane breaking apart start around 0:08.]

Actually, strike that. The pictures, which the station received via an anonymous email, were retrieved from an episode of the TV show Lost.

[Lost, pics of plane breaking apart start around 0:43.]

Oops. How do you say punk'd in Spanish?

Actually, strike that. How do you say, thou shalt always double check thy sources? Seriously, even I do that. And I just write a nonsense blog that hardly anyone reads, not relay the day's news.

Credit where credit is due: First saw on La Mala Palabra [link in Spanish]. Lost video clip and the story in English later seen at J.N. Paquet's EditoBlog.

Like a Virgin

2009-06-19T01:29:00.008-04:00

Ladies, I would like to tell you about a truly remarkable product. These Chinese herbal pills available through eBay can "make your vagina as tight as girl's."

As if the fact that the pills "help the flabby vagina to tighten" were not enough to make them worth every penny, they also "wipe off the dead skin of vagina ... restore the young state, increase skin elasticity, reduce wrinkles, dilute stain, and whiten skin."

But wait, there's more. Five minutes after use, a pill "may excite women's ruptured A point, and touch off the level seven sexual orgasm which likes the volcanic eruption."

What are you waiting for? Order today!

The fine print: "Unmarried girl need not use it."

For the Love of STDs

2009-06-18T23:16:00.001-04:00

If someone were going to give me a venereal disease, I think I'd want syphilis. Or maybe herpes. Not gonorrhea, though. It seems too mundane.

Giant Microbes

"Stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes —

only a million times actual size."

Rice is Rice, Right?

2009-06-17T19:03:00.001-04:00

Today's lunch was take-out from a restaurant that serves "authentic Thai cuisine." Though the packaging made me wonder just how authentically Thai it really was.

Bragging Rights

2009-06-17T19:01:00.001-04:00

As a general rule, being ranked #1 in teen dating violence isn't something to brag about. But when the metric is creativity rather than abusive behavior, getting top honors is kind of cool. So congrats to the kids at my local high school who put together this public service announcement that won the teen dating violence PSA contest recently sponsored by the Middlesex County, Massachusetts District Attorney's Office.

A Boston ad agency will help the students professionally edit the PSA and then it'll be sent to local TV stations for possible broadcast.

Multitasking Mommy

2009-06-16T23:45:00.003-04:00

The typical mother has so many demands on her time that the only way to fit everything in is to multitask. Click here to see one mom in action. (Sort of NSFW.)

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

2009-06-16T23:38:00.002-04:00

There's no telling what this guy has under his poncho. And that's something you should worry about, per a FOX News story.

Because Bolivia is becoming a hotbed of Islamic extremism says FOX, citing a report from the Director of National Intelligence Open Source Center. Just how much of a hotbed is unclear since Bolivia's Muslim community is estimated at only 1,000 people, or 0.01% of the country's total population.

Unfortunately, though, it only takes one whack job to ruin it for everyone. So perhaps we should all pray to Saint Ernesto that FOX News got this one wrong.

Class of 2009

2009-06-16T01:57:00.002-04:00

Somewhere in this crowd is Rock Star with - miracle of miracles - a high school diploma in hand.

After all those Ds and Fs mid year I wasn't sure you could do it, Rock Star. Thanks for proving that what you've said all along is true - Your mom doesn't have a clue what she's talking about.